Bridesmaids Luncheons - a Thing of the Past?

When is the last time you heard a bride say she was having a bridesmaids' luncheon? If a luncheon was mentioned, did you wonder what the bride was talking about? Unless you live in the southern U.S., there is a good chance you are not familiar with this custom. In generations past, a bride honored her bridesmaids by hosting a luncheon, tea, or a similar social event for them. Other women in the wedding (such as soloists), the mothers and grandmothers of the bride and groom and perhaps an aunt or two were also invited (but not usually the flower girl). The bride often presented her gifts to the ladies at the party. The event was often held a week before the wedding, though some brides held it the day before the wedding. (The luncheon occurred in addition to a bachelorette party, not in place of it.)

The luncheons, tea or brunch were sometimes held at a restaurant and other times at a private home. Dessert was usually a special cake containing charms, such as a coin, thimble and ring. The charms were wrapped in plastic wrap and dropped into the cake batter before baking. The lady who found a charm in her cake slice was supposed to be the next one to marry, to find riches, be a spinster, or some other fate, all in good fun.

A similar tradition is the Victorian charm cake. For this cake, there is one charm for each bridesmaid and the maid/matron of honor. The charms are attached to ribbons. The charm is placed on the top of the frosted bottom cake layer (you must use a layer cake, not a sheet cake) with the ribbon extending over the side. Before the cake is cut, each lady pulls out a charm and learns what her future may hold.

Today, because one or more bridesmaids may not live near the bride, planning a bridesmaids' luncheon may be difficult and some brides consider it too old fashioned for their taste. Therefore, brides today tend to choose to do something more modern, such as taking their bridesmaids to a spa the day before the wedding. Others choose to have a golf outing or engage in another special activity.

Most brides honor the ladies in their wedding party in some way, but rarely with a traditional bridesmaids' luncheon. If you are a bride, you may want to plan a special outing that fits the personalities of everyone involved, whether it be a luncheon, tea, or something more active.

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