Manners and Courtesy - Are They Dead?

Today we live in a casual society. We rush from one appointment to another. We eat with our hands as much or more than with a knife and fork (pizza, sandwiches, chicken and on and on). We dress casually, even for formal events. Do people today think about, or care about, manners? What about consideration for others? Thoughtfulness? Courtesy? Are they all passe in today's society?


One way we show respect for others is by using manners. I am continually appalled to see young men who walk in front of their girlfriend/wife/mother/sister or another woman, even walking through doors and closing them in the woman's face. What happened to walking beside her, holding the door, allowing her to be seated first? Are parents no longer teaching their sons to respect others, including women and their elders? This has nothing to do with gender equality and everything to do with respect. It is just as important for women to demonstrate respect for the people in their lives.

What about respect for older people or those with a disability, allowing them to go first even if they walk slowly, and giving them a seat, even if it means giving up yours, or offering to carry something for them?

What about teaching children to respect others, not to demand their own way or to insist on being the center of attention? At a recent event a 13 year old girl acted like a spoiled 8 year old. She ran through the party, dodging waiters and bumping tables. When told she was creating a safety hazard, she began playing in the elevator. After a security guard stopped her, she recruited several younger children to play hide n' seek under the dinner tables! When this activity was stopped, she said the facility was no fun; it had too many rules. At no time did her mother intervene or even check on her. It became the responsibility of the venue staff and other adults to monitor and curb her behavior. And what about teaching children to show respect by addressing adults as Mr., Mrs., or Ms rather than by their first names?

Today corporations spend time and money to teach their employees what they should have learned at home. A business must be certain that the employees assigned to represent the company know which fork to use, how to eat properly and how to engage in meaningful conversation. A person who demonstrates a lack of courtesy or basic manners during a job interview may not get the job, thus jeopardizing her/his future. The implications of a slip-up can be huge in the business world and in life as well.

No, manners and courtesy are not dead, but they are on life-support. If we each take the time to think about others first, we can make a difference. Parents, your child's future could depend on what you do or don't teach them at home. Are you willing to accept that responsibility? Employees, are you willing to take the time to learn how to treat your co-workers, superiors and customers? If not, are you willing to accept the pink slip that could follow?

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