Wanted: Day-of Wedding Coordinator

You are planning your wedding and you are beginning to realize just how many details are involved, particularly on the wedding day. You won't have time or opportunity to do anything; you have a hair appointment; you need to dress; you will be taking photos, and on and on.

Can Mom be your day-of coordinator? No, she will be in the photos and you want her to enjoy the day. Can Aunt Martha do it? Maybe, but will she want to miss the festivities to spend her time rushing around in the background? So, your best option is to hire a day-of wedding coordinator. Right? Maybe.

Myth: A day-of coordinator can be hired shortly before the wedding, after all the details are in place.

Reality: If you wait, you may not be able to find a knowledgeable and experienced coordinator. (Beware the person who is hoping you will be her first client.) Coordinators book months, sometimes a year or more, in advance. They book day-of events just like they book events at which they are assisting with the planning. If her calendar is full, you are out of luck.

Myth: A day-of coordinator will take your plans and make them happen.

Reality: In most cases, unless you have planned numerous events in the past, the coordinator will need to tweak your plans to fit the realities of your location, weather, time of day and other considerations. For instance, if you are planning an outdoor wedding, those tall, skinny centerpieces may look pretty, but they won't remain standing long. The slightest breeze and they will topple, leaving your linens soaking wet and the centerpieces unusable. Or, you plan to use paper plates at a windy location. If you do, your guests may end up wearing their dinner rather than enjoying it. Or how about those bees or the fruit flies at the winery that love to crawl around on your food? Ick! A knowledgeable coordinator will know about these issues and many others and will recommend solutions.

Myth: Hiring a day-of coordinator will insure that the day goes smoothly.

Reality: The coordinator can only control so much. If you have hired merchants who are new to the wedding scene or you have chosen a less than desirable location, your coordinator will do what she can to make your dreams a reality, but she can't control the behavior of unskilled merchants, the leaking roof, the overflowing toilets and other issues. At a recent wedding, the couple chose not to spend the money to hire a DJ, opting instead to hire someone who plays karoake at a bar. The result was no music for the ceremony, no microphone for the officiant, and no one to make announcements or help keep things flowing. When couples choose not to heed the advice of the coordinator, she can't perform miracles.

Whether you are hiring a coordinator to help with all the planning or just for the day, she should be available to advise you throughout the planning process. Though a day-of coordinator won't usually visit merchants with you, she should give you advice on questions to ask and what to look for so you make informed decisions. She should offer referrals to dependable merchants who have a reputation for providing quality service at an affordable price and who are willing to work with you and your budget.

You need to meet with your day-of coordinator several times before the wedding, often enough to develop a relationship. You should feel comfortable with her and she should understand your personality and tastes. That way, any decisions she needs to make on the big day will be ones you would have made.

Your day-of coordinator should help you create a timeline for the rehearsal and wedding day and she should be at the rehearsal to supervise activities in cooperation with your officiant. If your officiant doesn't attend rehearsals, she should be prepared to conduct the rehearsal.

Hiring a day-of wedding coordinator is one of the best decisions you can make to assure that your wedding day is as flawless as possible, but don't wait until the last minute to hire her. Do it while she is available, then trust her to handle all the details so you, and your mom, can enjoy your big day.

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