Guest Attire for a Wedding or Another Event

In today's casual society we tend to think it doesn't matter how we dress to attend a special event. In reality, it matters a great deal. You don't want to embarrass yourself, your spouse or date, your family and most of all, you shouldn't want to embarrass your hosts. As an example, at a recent party two teenaged girls arrived wearing two-piece swim suits covered by t-shirts they had cut down the sides nearly to the waist, thus showing most of the swim suits. It was not a pool party; rather, it was a sophisticated birthday event held at a special venue nowhere near water. Inappropriate attire? Demeaning to the guest of honor? Exhibitionism? Totally.

At a recent wedding two women arrived looking like exotic dancers. One even flaunted her underwear and her garter belt. Inappropriate? Tawdry? Demeaning to the bride and groom? Absolutely.

At another wedding, the invitation clearly stated the ceremony would be held at a cathedral, yet a gentleman arrived wearing shorts and an older couple came to the reception in shorts, looking as if they had just completed a long road trip. Inappropriate? Definitely. Yet the "gentleman" defended his attire by saying that most of his friends didn't get married in such places, attempting to make the bride and groom responsible for his lack of judgement.

So, what is appropriate attire for an event? One way to determine is to read the invitation. If the event will be held at a church, country club or another conservative location, then conservative attire is expected. Some clubs, including country clubs, refuse admittance to those who are not properly attired, including men who arrive wearing shirts without collars. Men rarely go wrong by wearing a jacket and tie. Unless the event is very casual, ladies should wear dresses of an acceptable length, not pants and never jeans.

Children should also be dressed appropriately and they should be on their best behavior. Running around, playing chase, or monopolizing the dance floor to the exclusion of the adults shows a lack of respect for the party hosts and a lack of parental guidance.

What is inappropriate attire? Examples abound, including the following:

• It is inappropriate for ladies to wear white, cream, ivory, or any near-white shade to a wedding. That color is reserved for the bride. In some cultures, ladies also don't wear red or black to weddings, particularly to weddings where the bride or groom is of Asian or Indian descent.
• It is inappropriate to draw attention to yourself and away from the guest/guests of honor by wearing revealing clothing - too short, too tight, too low cut. Don't show more skin than the guest of honor.
• If you are invited to a wedding at a church, synagogue, or another house of worship, find out what is acceptable attire. Some churches and synagogues require women to cover their shoulders, elbows and/or knees. A head covering may be required. Men may not be allowed to wear a hat, or they may be required to wear one, so be sure to find out.
• Don't dress too casually unless you are going to a picnic. Ball caps, cowboy hats, shorts, t-shirts, jeans, athletic shoes, flip flops, shirts with slogans, and similar attire are not appropriate at most social events. Some facilities also forbid cowboy boots.
• Swim suits are for swimming; they are not party wear unless it is a pool party.

We show respect for our friends and family by dressing properly when attending their special event, whether it is Grandma's 80th birthday party, cousin Sally's wedding, Dad's retirement party or another event. It is particularly important to dress appropriately when attending an event hosted by someone of another culture. In that case, be sure to find out what may be considered offensive, both attire and colors.

Take the time to think about how your attire will reflect both on you and on the guest of honor. It only takes a few minutes to make a good impression, but it can take years to erase a bad one.