Wedding Planning for the Mature Bride

I am currently working with a bride who is a 66 year old widow marrying a 70 year old gentleman. Through the years I have planned numerous weddings for brides in their 40s, 50s and 60s. Some were marrying for the first time, some were divorced, others widowed.

When a couple is older, both bride and groom often have many more decisions to make than younger couples. A mature bride's body has changed and the gown that looks great on a 25 year-old will not look the same on a 50 year-old. One or both may have children and possibly grandchildren. They may have homes, own a business and/or have investments they want to leave to their respective families. Health issues may be part of the picture. To protect yourself, your family, and each other, all these issues and more need to be addressed before saying "I Do." 

Wedding Gown: Many mature women find choosing a wedding gown to be the most difficult part of planning their wedding. Unless she works out regularly, a revealing gown like those found in most bridal salons may not be appropriate. Instead, look for gowns designed for cruises and for party dresses or consider having a dress made. It doesn't have to be white or ivory and a pastel dress often looks better with mature skin tones.

Children: If the bride or groom  has children, either still at home or grown, their futures need to be considered. If the children are young, the parent should have a will that includes guardianship provisions. 

Assets: You may want your personal assets, including investments and property, to go to your children when you die rather than to your new spouse and his children. If so, talk with an attorney and draw up both a will and a pre-marital agreement to assure that your wishes will be fulfilled.

Home/Business: You and/or your future husband may own a home or a business. If one or both of you have homes, you will need to decide where you will live and what you will do with the other property. You might choose to live in one house and either sell or rent the other. Or, you may decide to sell both homes and purchase one together. This is sometimes a better option if one or both of you lived in your home with a previous spouse and the house contains too many memories.

If one or both of you owns a business, you may need to contact an attorney to draw up a succession plan if you don't already have one. The plan will include instructions about the future of the business, including future ownership and how the assets of the business will be handled in the event of the owner's death. If the business is a sole proprietorship or a partnership, the business will automatically dissolve upon the death of the owner unless you make other arrangements, so you will want to be prepared.

Health: If either the bride or groom suffers from a long term health problem, you may need to determine how the expenses of the illness, as well as any future care needs, will be handled. If you have health insurance through a former spouse's employer, you may lose it when you remarry. Your spouse may be able to add you to his policy or you may need to purchase a new one. Both of you may need a living will for health care, enabling your new spouse to make decisions for you in a crisis.

Debts: One or both of you may bring debts into the marriage. If the debts are significant, you may need to maintain separate bank accounts and keep your assets separate until the debts have been satisfied. If one person has a poor credit record or a past bankruptcy, that could adversely affect both of you if you commingle your finances.

Pension Payments/Survivor Benefits Payments: If the bride receives survivor benefit payments or pension payments related to the retirement of a deceased spouse, she may lose those payments when she remarries, so be sure to find out. This is also true for military retirement and survivor benefit payments.

Social Security: If you are receiving Social Security survivor benefit payments on your deceased spouse's earning record and you are under age 60, you may lose those benefits if you remarry. If you remarry after age 60 (50 if you are disabled), you may be able to continue  collecting benefits.

Sharing your later years with a new spouse can bring great happiness but getting to the altar successfully will take careful planning to be certain you are not unpleasantly surprised by a loss of income, insurance, or other issues. Therefore, take some time to include visits with your attorney and an accountant in your wedding planning to make sure you are fully prepared to enter the next phase of your new life.