The Role of Grooms and Dads in Wedding Planning
I was interviewed by a reporter for the New York Times for an article that appeared on April 4 about the role of the groom and his family in wedding planning. Perhaps it is more common out West, but most of my grooms are involved in the wedding planning process and have been for over ten years. In many cases the couple are professionals in their late twenties or their thirties when they marry. They make all the decisions together, and often they pay for the wedding themselves with little or no help from either of their families.
The reporter was surprised when I mentioned the increasing involvement of fathers of the bride in the planning. Again, that has been occurring for the last eight or ten years. The fathers seem to be particularly interested in choosing the location/locations and the catering. Sometimes they attend a few of our meetings with merchants. In other cases, they attend them all.
The increasing involvement of grooms and dads reflects the trend for both families and the bride and groom to all pay for the wedding. For the article, the reporter contacted the president of the Association of Bridal Consultants, an organization that conducts surveys on various aspects of wedding planning. According to him, only about 10 percent of today's weddings are paid for by the bride's family. That is down from 27 percent in 2003. In the majority of weddings, both sets of parents and the bride and groom all contribute to the costs, though not usually in equal amounts.
The reporter asked about the role of the mother of the groom in wedding planning. Obviously, if she is helping finance the wedding, she should be included in decision making. If she is not helping with the costs, the bride may still want to invite her to participate, assuming that the mom is not one who will try to dominate or control. Including the groom's mother can be a bonding experience for the bride and her future MIL and for the two mothers.
The times are changing and the way weddings are planned is changing, so that all the important people are involved, making a wedding a true joining of families, not just of two people.
The reporter was surprised when I mentioned the increasing involvement of fathers of the bride in the planning. Again, that has been occurring for the last eight or ten years. The fathers seem to be particularly interested in choosing the location/locations and the catering. Sometimes they attend a few of our meetings with merchants. In other cases, they attend them all.
The increasing involvement of grooms and dads reflects the trend for both families and the bride and groom to all pay for the wedding. For the article, the reporter contacted the president of the Association of Bridal Consultants, an organization that conducts surveys on various aspects of wedding planning. According to him, only about 10 percent of today's weddings are paid for by the bride's family. That is down from 27 percent in 2003. In the majority of weddings, both sets of parents and the bride and groom all contribute to the costs, though not usually in equal amounts.
The reporter asked about the role of the mother of the groom in wedding planning. Obviously, if she is helping finance the wedding, she should be included in decision making. If she is not helping with the costs, the bride may still want to invite her to participate, assuming that the mom is not one who will try to dominate or control. Including the groom's mother can be a bonding experience for the bride and her future MIL and for the two mothers.
The times are changing and the way weddings are planned is changing, so that all the important people are involved, making a wedding a true joining of families, not just of two people.
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