Planning a Vow Renewal Ceremony

In the last few years a number of couples married quickly, perhaps because of military deployment. Now, they want to have a vow renewal ceremony to celebrate with family and friends or they want to solemnize their vows in their church. Older couples may choose to renew their vows on or near their anniversary or at another special time when family can be together. Planning a vow renewal ceremony is not the same as planning a wedding and that can create confusion, particularly for younger couples planning a church ceremony. Though some aspects are similar - repeating vows and a reception to follow - most aspects are somewhat different.

Vow renewal ceremonies are usually more casual than weddings and often are attended by fewer guests than a typical wedding. The couple, not their parents, usually pays for the event. Depending on the situation and budget, the ceremony might occur in a church or it might occur at a family picnic, a park, or any setting of the couple's choosing. If guests attend (and it is fine to not invite anyone), the couple should entertain them in some way after the ceremony, but the reception doesn't need to be elaborate. If a formal dinner and dancing is not your cup of tea, you might have a picnic, a barbeque or a dessert reception.

Because the couple is not a bride and groom, they do not have bridesmaids and groomsmen, though they may have witnesses stand with them. If the couple has been married for a number of years and has children, the children might serve as witnesses or they might escort their mom down the aisle. If members of the original wedding party will attend, they might be asked to again stand with the couple.

A vow renewal ceremony is not a legal proceeding, so a marriage license isn't needed. Anyone can perform the ceremony, perhaps a father, grandfather, adult child or a friend. Wedding vows can be altered to reflect the couple's desire to continue to love and cherish one another or the couple can write their own vows. If they have recently been through a crisis in their lives, the vows might reflect that. Rings are exchanged only if the wife will receive a new ring or an anniversary ring. Alternatively, the couple might ask the officiant to bless their rings by placing his/her hand over the couple's hands and praying for them. Certificates are available to commemorate the ceremony if the couple desires one.

Depending on the formality of the event, the wife might wear a dress, evening gown, cocktail dress, or slacks in any color she prefers, including white. The husband might wear a suit or a shirt and tie. If the actual wedding occurred recently, the bride might wear her wedding gown if it isn't too elaborate. Otherwise, she should avoid wearing a typical wedding dress. She would not wear a veil. The wife doesn't need to carry a bouquet, though she may if she prefers. Rather, she might wear a corsage and the husband a boutonierre.

Guests don't usually bring gifts to a vow renewal ceremony and there are no showers or gift registries. Money trees are taboo. The couple might cut a cake at the reception, perhaps a replica of their original wedding cake. Toasts are appropriate and the couple might have a first dance, but there is no bouquet or garter toss.

Planning a vow renewal ceremony is a good way to reaffirm your love before family and friends. The decisions surrounding the event should reflect your current position in life; you can't go back and be a bride again, but you can look forward to many happy years together.