Traditions: Bouquet and Garter - to Toss or Not

Traditionally,  near the end of a wedding reception the bride tosses a bouquet and the groom tosses a garter which he first removes from the bride's leg.  Today, however, many couples are choosing to forgo the tossing of one or both items for several reasons.  Often, when the bouquet or garter toss is announced, young children rush to the front, crowding out the “eligible” ladies and men.  The bride may want to keep her bouquet and she didn't order a separate toss bouquet, or she may be embarrassed by the manner in which the garter is removed (no teeth, gentlemen, please).  Not all couples have single friends to catch the bouquet or garter. And some venues are simply not built for tossing anything if the room is small or the ceiling too low.  If you do choose to toss the bouquet or garter, the following tips can make the occasion more fun and less chaotic and embarrassing. 

If a number of children will be present, have a “candy toss” of individually wrapped pieces of hard candy before the bouquet and garter toss. Then, ask your MC or DJ to announce that only single ladies and gentlemen above a certain age, such as 16 or 18, are invited to participate in the bouquet and garter toss. The children are usually happy to cooperate and would rather have candy anyway.

The bride can minimize problems with the garter removal by placing the garter below her knee and either sitting or standing with her foot on a chair while the groom removes it (in a dignified manner, please).  If the bride prefers not to have anyone (including the groom) looking under her gown, the garter can be placed on the groom's arm. He then sits on a chair while the bride removes his jacket to reveal it, then he tosses it to his waiting friends. 

When tossing either a bouquet or garter, choose a location free from obstructions and with plenty of room for the “catchers” to stand and move.  Don't toss in the direction of food or beverage tables, open flames or water.

If you prefer to focus on married couples rather than singles, you might ask your DJ or band leader to play an anniversary dance. The DJ calls all married couples to the dance floor then begins eliminating them by length of time married - "The couple married less than 6 hours please leave the dance floor." As couples continue to be eliminated, the couple who have been married the longest will remain. They are then presented with the toss bouquet and the garter.

Rather than tossing the bouquet, the bride might also choose to make a special presentation of it to her mother, grandmother or someone else she would like to honor.

Whether you choose to toss your bouquet or garter, dispose of them in another manner, or omit the tosses entirely is up to you and it’s not a necessary part of your reception.  Do what feels right for you. Your guests will probably never notice if you eliminate one or both activities.