The Main Event by Memory Makers Event Planning, LLC

Have you received a recent invitation containing the phrase "no boxed gifts?"  Did you wonder what they mean - give only "soft" gifts, like linens, not boxed items like toasters? In reality, this is the latest attempt to solicit money as a gift without coming right out and asking for it, which would be a major breach of etiquette. In some Eastern cultures, such as Pakistani or Indian, this term has been traditionally used to indicate a preference for money, not actual gifts. As frequently happens, those in our Western world have adopted the wording and applied it to their own events. Occasionally, the term is legitimately used, particularly when it refers to someone who may need to ship or transport gifts after a wedding or another party and who cannot take large, bulky items. In that case, giving smaller, "soft," easily packed items is reasonable. However, it shouldn't be printed on the invitation. From an etiquette perspective, gifts shouldn'...

She came without an invitation; she left with cards containing cash, checks and gift cards. A Spokane, WA woman has been sentenced to 45 days in jail for felony grand theft for stealing gift cards and personal checks at a wedding in Lewiston, Idaho last summer. The theft was discovered when the couple opened gifts with family and friends, some of whom realized that their card and its contents was missing. Fortunately, one family member is a police officer and remembered seeing the woman, a former high school classmate, at the reception. He knew she was not an acquaintance of the bride or groom and she acted nervous when he talked with her and she left soon after. Family and friends gave police information about the stolen gift cards and stores were alerted to watch for them. Soon, Macys, Home Depot, Costco and other businesses reported a woman of the same description using the cards. In some instances, she produced a driver's license for identification. G...

I answer etiquette questions on a couple of web sites. From time to time we receive questions about gifts, usually from people wanting to know how to tell their guests what to give them, but occasionally from people confused about gift giving in general. Take a look at a few recent questions (grammar and spelling are exactly as the question was submitted): “How do we ask for no gifts because we have a small house but instead for people to bring cards and insert money into them to help us on our 2nd honeymoon cruise?” “How much money should be given by a couple attending a Saturday evening wedding reception?” “I have a question about a couple who eloped and after the elopement registered for gifts and had a bridal shower. Now almost two years later they are having a ceremony in the Catholic Church with a reception. They want money now from the same people who gave them wedding gifts after the elopement. Would like to know what is right.” “My best friend was invited to my daughte...

Today I read about a couple in Washington who asked for international telephone calling cards for wedding gifts. They received 60 of them and then donated them to a national guard unit being deployed to Iraq. If you are planning a wedding, birthday, or anniversary party, or another event where gifts are given, you can use your event to benefit others too. If you have a favorite charity, you might ask for items they need; perhaps canned food for a food bank, clothing or sleeping bags and blankets for the homeless, baby clothes for a crisis pregnancy center, food for an animal shelter - the list could go on and on. It is considered poor form to mention gifts in an invitation, but you can verbally tell people what you would like to do when they ask. Your guests may be very happy to give to a good cause.