The Dos and Don'ts of Making a Toast

You have been asked to give a toast, perhaps at a wedding reception, anniversary party, rehearsal dinner, or another event. If the idea of speaking in public makes you very uncomfortable, feel free to decline. You don't need to ruin your day by stressing over what to say or how to say it. If you agree to give a toast, the following tips will be helpful in creating a meaningful one.

*Be certain all guests have a drink of some type with which to toast. The DJ or person making announcements can ask guests to fill their glasses a few minutes before toasts begin. It is not necessary to toast with champagne or alcohol; any beverage will do. It is the thought that counts, not the contents of your glass.

*Keep it short, but sincere. Plan to speak no more than 5 minutes. You don't need to recount the entire hsitory of your relationship with the guest of honor. Don't mention that you are nervous or you hate to speak in public, or didn't really want to give the toast. To do so will embarass the person who asked you and make you more self-conscious.

*Stand near the guest/guests of honor to deliver the toast. That way, guests can focus on only one place rather than having to look back and forth from you to the guest of honor. Photographers can also capture their shots easier. When you finish speaking, clink your glass against the guest of honor's glass/glasses.

*Begin the toast with something personal, such as how you know the guest/guests of honor. If you are making a toast to a couple, don't focus your comments on only one person. Instead, include both of them, even if you don't know one person well.

*Speak naturally; don't try to use an accent or wild hand gestures. You will only confuse the guests. Speak clearly and not too fast. Make eye contact with the guest/guests of honor and with guests seated nearby.

*Use humor tastefully. Everyone enjoys a funny story, but keep it clean and don't embarass anyone. It is easy to get carried away and offend someone.

*Don't use profanity or tell off-color stories or jokes. Don't say anything you wouldn't want your grandmother to hear.

*Don't mention previous marriages, past relationships, old girl friends or boy friends of the guests of honor. Don't make comments such as, "I'm sure their marriage will last," or "No one thought their marriage would last." Such comments can hurt deeply.

*Don't drink too much before giving your toast. Too much alcohol will make you more nervous, not calm your nerves, and cause you to say things you might later regret.

*Practice your toast before you give it. Trying to wing it at the last minute only works if you are an accomplished speaker.

By implementing these tips, you can feel confident when you are called upon to make a toast to your friends or family and they will be encouraged, not embarassed, by your words.