Etiquette Challenged Guests - Are You One?

Yesterday I coordinated an event to which 180 people returned their RSVPs indicating they would attend. However, when the event occurred, only 85 guests were present. Think of the food that was ordered and not consumed, of the unused space that was rented, the tables, chairs, and linens that were needed to accommodate 180 people. Think of the money the hosts lost needlessly because of the thoughtlessness of their friends.

This situation is becoming increasingly common the last couple of years. It isn't just a few people who fail to attend, but as many as 1/3 of the guest list or more. When the hosts go through their invitation lists, they discover that most of the no-shows are work associates or casual acquaintances. Certainly emergencies occur at the last minute, but surely 95 people didn't all have emergencies yesterday. The problem is more likely caused by co-workers who say they will attend, but when the day arrives their spouse balks at attending an event where they don't know the hosts or many of the other guests, so the person who agreed to attend allows their spouse to talk them out of attending. Rude, rude, rude!!!

If you are not sure you will be able to attend an event, then don't RSVP that you will attend. Your hosts will need to provide an accurate guest count to their caterers several days before the event. If you say you will attend, they will be paying for you, including food, beverages, and the cost of renting tables, chairs, linens, etc. If you are "guilty" of this breach of good manners and common courtesy, don't be surprised if you hear about it from the hosts and don't expect to be invited to future events hosted by the same people or their friends.