The Main Event by Memory Makers Event Planning, LLC

Trends for 2012 - Weddings, Food, Meetings

2012-01-26T20:29:00.001-07:00

It seems each year we are inundated with predictions of the latest trends for the coming season. Some make sense or are a continuation of a current trend. Others make you wonder where the idea came from. Some of what are considered "national" trends, have actually been in vogue in this area for a couple years or more. The following are predictions for this year culled from several sources and presented in no particular order.

Wedding Trends - the following are compliments of OneWed.

Food trucks - Whether it be a taco truck after a party or an ice cream truck at a wedding reception, if you have a favorite truck food, invite them to your event. You can even hire the corner hotdog vendor to drop by.
Unique head pieces - Brides are replacing the typical veil and/or tiara with wedding hats, headbands and big, beautiful barrets and clips.
Royal wedding inspiration - In the tradition of Kate Middleton, simple and understated is in, whether it be a simple bouquet, a free-flowing hair style or a modest gown with sleeves.
Innovative invitations - Bright colors, bold fonts, geometric swirls and designs are all in, replacing the formal black script on white or ivory linen paper. (These have been a trend in Idaho for a couple years.)
Smaller guest lists - Couples are opting to invite fewer guests and spend their money on fabulous decor and food.
Smaller centerpieces and mix and match centerpieces - This has been a trend in Idaho for years. Not only is a smaller centerpiece more affordable but it allows guests to see one another rather than being hidden behind a tall vase. Many brides no longer want the more formal matched look, opting instead for a mix of two or three styles and heights, adding interest to the overall decor.
Mix and match bridesmaids dresses - Again, this has been a trend in Idaho for a few years. When a bridesmaid is able to choose a style that looks best for her height and figure, she will be more comfortable. The bride can decide on the color and dress length, then let the ladies have fun choosing their perfect dress.
Out with the garter and bouquet toss - The older the bride the less apt she is to toss a bouquet and many brides of all ages have done away with the garter toss as too tacky.
Colorful wedding gowns - Gowns in shades of light blue, blush pink, gold and silver are increasing in popularity. Many such colors are more attractive on a bride than stark white and they can add a sophisticated look to the wedding.
Rectangular tables - Brides are returning to the use of rectangular tables rather than round ones. Though round tables better utilize space, guests seated at rectangular tables are closer together and better able to converse.

Food Trends - Every party includes food of some type. Whether you are having a buffet or a served meal, food choices tend to change like everything else. Here is what's "hot" for 2012.

Whoopie pies are the new cupcake. These cookie sandwiches can be made in a variety of flavors. Keep them small to allow guests to indulge in several.
Potatoes are in, particularly French fries. Offer a variety of dipping sauces and let guests choose their favorite. Mashed potatoes, particularly garlic mashed, continue to be popular.
Grilled cheese is the new slider. Forget hamburgers and focus on everyone's favorite comfort food - gooey, warm melted cheese.
Unique ice cream flavors are in. Forget vanilla and chocolate and opt for bacon flavored ice cream or maple syrup, cotton candy or popcorn flavors.
Vegetables are popping up in desserts, everything from pumpkin custard and breads to chocolate zucchini cake and sweet potato pie.
Pretzels are in, the bigger the better. Serve large ones with a variety of dips. Serve small ones in place of cookies with ice cream or serve them with dips as well.

Meeting Trends - The economy the last few years has affected the number of meetings held and the cost. The following trends are compliments of Smart Meetings magazine.

According to American Express Meetings and Events, the number of meetings held in 2012 is expected to remain steady or increase over 2011. However, total meeting budgets are not expected to increase. Forty percent of companies surveyed expect to decrease the number of attendees while 33 percent anticipate shortening the duration of their meetings.
Meetings will be held closer to home, eliminating luxury, resorts, and air travel.
Green is still in and gaining popularity. Corporations are image conscious and making an impression as being socially responsible is important.

Whether you are planning a wedding, corporate meeting, or a social event, you may find some of these trends spark your imagination. Today, we have the freedom to do many unique things at our events as long as it is done tastefully, so go ahead and delight your guests with a surprise visit by an ice cream truck or ask the hot dog vendor to stop by at the end of the evening.

Wedding Planning for the Mature Bride

2012-01-16T14:32:00.000-07:00

I am currently working with a bride who is a 69 year old widow marrying a gentleman who is 70. Through the years I have planned numerous weddings for brides in their 40s, for first time brides in their 50s and for couples in their 60s. Some were marrying for the first time, some divorced, others widowed. When a couple is older, both bride and groom often have many more decisions to make than younger couples. The bride's body has changed and the gown that looks great on a 25 year-old will not look the same on a 50 year-old. One or both may have children and possibly grandchildren. They may have a home, own a business and/or have investments they want to leave to their respective families. Health issues may be part of the picture. To protect yourself, your family, and each other, all these issues and more need to be addressed before saying "I Do."

Wedding Gown: Many older women find choosing a wedding gown to be the most difficult part of planning their wedding. Unless they work out regularly, a revealing gown like those found in most bridal salons may not be appropriate. Instead, look for gowns designed for cruises and for party dresses or consider having a dress made.

Children: If the bride or groom has children, either still at home or grown, their futures need to be considered. If the children are young, parents should have a will that includes guardianship provisions. You may or may not want your new spouse to assume guardianship. Perhaps a sibling or parents would be a better choice.

Assets: You may want your personal assets, including investments and property, to go to your children when you die rather than to your new spouse and his children. If so, you should talk with an attorney and draw up both a will and a pre-marital agreement to assure that your wishes will be fulfilled.

Home/Business: You and/or your future husband may own a home or a business. If one or both of you have homes, you will need to decide where you will live and what you will do with the other property. You might choose to live in one house and either sell or rent the other. Or, you may decide to sell both homes and purchase one together. This is sometimes a better option if one or both of you lived in the home with a previous spouse.

If one or both of you owns a business, you may need to contact an attorney to draw up a succession plan if you don't have one. The plan will include instructions about the future of the business, including future ownership and how the assets of the business will be handled in the event of the owner's death. If the business is a sole proprietorship or a partnership, the business will automatically dissolve upon the death of the owner unless you make other arrangements, so you will want to be prepared.

Health: If either the bride or groom suffers from a long term health problem, you may need to determine how the expenses of the illness, as well as any future care needs, will be handled. If one has health insurance through a former spouse's employer, you may lose it when you remarry. Your spouse may be able to add you to his/her policy or you may need to purchase a new one.

Debts: One or both of you may bring debts into the marriage. If the debts are significant, you may need to maintain separate bank accounts and keep your assets separate until the debts have been satisfied. If one person has a poor credit record or a past bankruptcy, that could adversely affect both of you if you commingle your finances.

Pension Payments/Survivor Benefits Payments: If the bride receives survivor benefit payments or pension payments related to the retirement of a deceased spouse, she may lose those payments when she remarries, so be sure to find out. This is also true for military retirement and survivor benefit payments.

Social Security: If you are receiving Social Security survivor benefit payments on your deceased spouse's earning record and you are under age 60, you may lose those benefits if you remarry. If you remarry after age 60 (50 if you are disabled), you should be able to continue to collect benefits.

Sharing your older years with a new spouse can bring great happiness but getting to the altar successfully will take some careful planning to be certain you are not unpleasantly surprised by a loss of income, insurance, or other issues. Therefore, take some time to visit with your attorney and an accountant to make sure you are fully prepared to enter the next phase of your new life.

33rd Annual Wedding Party Show has Come and Gone

2012-01-08T17:54:00.001-07:00

The 33rd annual Wedding Party Show was held this weekend. Approximately 1,000 brides plus grooms, moms, sisters, friends, children, non-participating merchants and others streamed through the show looking for everything from planners to catering, flowers, gowns, tuxes and unique venues. It was a great show. Below, Caitie receives a big kiss from show mascot Chloe.

Planning a Super Bowl Party without the Mess

2012-01-02T13:05:00.000-07:00

Happy New Year! Christmas and New Years are behind us. The next big event, other than the 33rd annual Wedding Party Show this weekend, is Super Bowl Sunday, February 5. Many people have Super Bowl parties, some at restaurants or pubs, others at private homes. If you are among those planning a party at home or perhaps at your community club house, you are probably not looking forward to the mess at the end of the day. Unfortunately, when a group gets together and food and football are involved, messy happens.

You can control some of the messies, and help the environment, with a bit of preplanning. You might start with what you serve. If you order in pizza, you will have boxes, crusts, sauce and other possibly gooey and messy items to deal with, so be sure to have plenty of large trash cans and bags on hand. If, on the other hand, you prepare a crock pot of soup or chili, you will have considerably less clean up, even if you use disposable bowls and spoons. Serving beverages in individual cans or bottles means more trash. Purchasing 2-liter bottles and providing glasses or making coffee or tea will reduce waste.

Interestingly, according to a Cornell Food and Brand Lab study, what you use to serve the food affects how much people eat, both at the party and later in the day. The key factor is whether guests consider the food to be a meal or snacks. If the food is served in real dishware with real spoons or forks, guests think of it as a meal. They will eat more, but in most cases will not have another meal later. Conversely, if paper plates and napkins and plastic forks and spoons are used, guests tend to think of it as snacks. They will graze throughout the game, then go home and consume a meal.

The choice is yours - disposables and take-out or delivered food equals more clean up. Or you can provide your own food and real dishes, which means you have to wash dishes, but you keep a great amount of gunk out of the landfill. If you decide to use paper and plastic, look for biodegradable products made from corn, bamboo or wheat fiber, including cups, spoons and forks.

Whatever you decide to do, plan your party so you can relax and enjoy the game, rather than feeling as if you must spend your time on clean up patrol.

Company Holiday Parties Regaining Popularity

2011-12-16T18:43:00.000-07:00

When the economy took a nose-dive in 2008 company holiday parties were one of the first casualties. As the economy slowly begins to stabilize and businesses see sales increasing, some are again hosting holiday events, though not usually as lavishly as in years past. In a survey of 2,600 employers, CareerBuilder.com found that 58 percent of companies will have some type of celebration this year. That is up from 52 percent in 2010 and 49 percent in 2009 but way down from 96 percent in 1997. In contrast, just 36 percent of employees who were surveyed plan to attend their company's event. No reason was given for the lack of interest in the parties.

Most parties will continue to be simple and less expensive than a few years ago. About 60 percent of business owners are limiting attendance to employees. Most will hold their party during the workday or near the end of the day with many luncheons and potlucks planned.

The reasons given for hosting a party include improving employee morale, celebrating increased business in 2011 and showing employees and key customers that the company is optimistic about the coming year.

Year end perks are also up with 40 percent of employers stating they plan to give employees a bonus and 30 percent planning to also give gifts to employees.

Choosing a Caterer for your Event

2011-12-07T12:30:00.001-07:00

It's that time of year, time for personal and company Christmas parties followed by New Years parties; then it will be Super Bowl parties and more. Nearly every event includes food, much of it provided by a caterer. But how do you choose a reputable caterer who will enhance your event, not create unpleasant, and perhaps costly, surprises? The following tips will help.

First, decide on your budget. Be sure to consider the cost of sales tax, gratuity and other incidentals, which can add 25 percent or more to your food budget.

Next, decide on the type and quantity of food you would like to serve. In this area we are fortunate to have a wide variety of catering choices, including Basque, Mexican, Italian, and more. You might serve a meal or perhaps you need only appetizers. If your party is casual and not too large, you might ask a caterer to drop off food rather than having a server stay for the event. Some caterers have alcohol permits; others offer cakes, pies and other desserts. If either is important to you, it will be less expensive to choose a caterer that can provide alcohol or a special dessert rather than hiring a bar service and/or specialty baker.

After you have determined your needs you will want to interview two or three caterers. Your event planner can provide recommendations. As you interveiw people, ask the following questions:

How long have you been in business, not just in a related field but in this specific business? Many people can prepare great food but they lack the business skills to successfully operate a business and they may be under funded as well. If you are planning an event several months into the future, you want to be certain the caterer will still be in business. Ask for references if you are uncomfortable with anything you hear and do check them.

What is included in your service? Does the caterer provide dishware or disposable plates? If so, is there an additional charge? Can the caterer provide linens? If so, can you rent them yourself from a rental center less expensively? If the linens, dishware or other items are being marked up, you may be able to rent them yourself and save.

How many servers will be assigned to your party? If the caterer says only one, beware. One person cannot do everything. Chances are you or your event planner will end up doing much of the work, particularly the clean up.

If you are serving cake or another dessert, is there a fee to cut it? what about dessert plates and forks? Do you need to provide them or will the caterer? If you order beverages, will the caterer provide a punch bowl or another appropriate serving container or must you provide one? Will the caterer bring ice or is that your responsibility? What about bottled water on a hot day?

Ask about leftovers. If a caterer comes to a venue of your choosing, you should receive any leftovers that are safe. Health department regulations determine what items, if any, can be given to you and what has to be disposed of to prevent food-borne illness. You may need to provide your own containers for leftovers, so be sure to ask.

Be certain to ask about set up and clean up. How much of it will the caterer do and what do they consider set up and clean up activities? Will they set up tables and chairs, place linens and dishware or must you do it? Will they tear down the tables and chairs, sweep, mop, clean the kitchen, empty trash? If so, do they charge extra? Be sure to get all the details in writing so there are no surprises later.

You should receive a contract detailing the services to be provided and the costs, including sales tax and gratuity, sometimes called a service charge. It should also indicate the dates you need to provide a deposit and final payment and the date you need to provide a guaranteed number of attendees (usually three days before the event). This is the number for which you will be charged.

You may or may not be able to have a food tasting. If the caterer owns a restaurant, they may request that you dine at the restaurant to get an idea of the quality of their food. Other caterers may allow you to sample what they have prepared for their current catering job, though it may not be what you plan to serve.

By taking time to prepare before visiting with caterers, you can make a better informed decision about who is right for you and your event and save yourself time, money and stress.

Two New Bakeries Offer Sweet Treats in Boise

2011-11-22T07:01:00.001-07:00

If you love specialty bakeries, those that make their products from scratch as opposed to those that bake using pre-packaged mixes, you are in for a treat. Sugar Rush Cupcakery opened in late October at 10804 W. Fairview Avenue in Boise. This is the latest endeavor of Family Ties Catering and Cakes, a Caldwell company well known for their baking. Though the shop specializes in cupcakes, they also offer cakes, cookies, muffins, cinnamon rolls and scones. You can also order Family Ties' famous wedding cakes. The shop includes a coffee bar with specialty coffees and plenty of space for relaxing or meeting friends.

On a recent visit I tried a maple bacon cupcake. It was delicious. Be sure to check the wide variety of flavors available, including blueberry ham waffle and more. You might discover a new favorite. For more information on the bakery, visit http://www.facebook.com/pages/Sugar-Rush-Cupcakery/258755674166584

Ruth Joanne's Bakery opened at 8716 Fairview Avenue in late August. The shop is part of the Artisan Food Co-op, a joint effort of three merchants who participate in the Meridian Farmers Market to make their popular products available year round. Baked goods are made from house-milled, local whole grains and freshly ground spices. Gluten-free baked goods are also available. Be sure to try a cinnamon roll or pumpkin bread made with groats. Ruth Joanne's specializes in taking common bakery goods to a new level with their special combination of ingredients. On a recent visit I enjoyed one of their famous cinnamon rolls. It is one of the best in the area, with plenty of cinnamon and gooey goodness.

Add Scent to your Event

2011-11-02T13:42:00.000-06:00

Aromatherapy isn't just for personal relaxation anymore. More and more event hosts are using aroma to set the mood for their special event. Planning a beach theme far from the ocean? Add the aroma of Ocean Breezes to your party location along with the sand and seashell decor. Store owners use pleasing scents at grand openings or to entice shoppers to purchase. Real estate agents use it to attract potential buyers and teens use it just for fun.

Most of us have used scent to set the mood at one time or another. It might be using scented candles or flowers for a dinner party or baking cookies just before an open house. Now, there are companies that will take your event to an all new level. Scent Events, www.scentevents.com/, is one such company. Scent Events both rents and sells fans and accompanying "scent sleeves." The scent sleeves are available in a wide variety of aromas and two or more can be combined, such as chocolate and cinnamon, to create a unique aroma. The scent sleeves are attached to the fan blades in an X pattern. When the fan is activated, the aroma fills the area. One fan (approximately 12 inches tall and wide) and two scent sleeve packets will scent an area up to 3,000 square feet, indoors or out. Order two or more fans for use in a larger area. Scent packets can also be obtained for placement in the HVAC system of an entire building or a portion of it.

The scent sleeves are available in a wide variety of aromas, including some rather "unusual" ones. Planning a grand opening or an open house? Place a fan or two in strategic locations and welcome your guests with an aroma related to your product and intended to entice customers to purchase. Planning a Halloween party? You can add the aroma of Cemetery or maybe Stinky Cheese to the party setting. For those who prefer more pleasing aromas, you can order anything from Crayon or Baby Powder to florals, spices, baked goods and much more.

If you are planning a party for young teens or pre-teens, you might provide scented shoelaces as party favors. The laces are available primarily in food-related aromas, such as popcorn, cotton candy, and even pancake batter. Girls wear the laces in their hair, on their wrists, and tie them to their backpacks, as well as wearing them in their shoes. Order from www.scentedshoelaces.com/.

If you are on a budget but want to add fragrance to your business or personal event, you might look for less expensive options, such as using strategically placed Scentsy warmers. Whatever you use to add fragrance, just be careful not to overpower your guests with the aroma. People who have asthma, allergies, or who are prone to migraines may have difficulty with strong aromas, no matter how appealing the fragrance.

Teenage Invitations Require Imagination

2011-10-22T16:38:00.000-06:00

Want to invite your boyfriend or girlfriend to the prom or to homecoming? No longer is it cool to simply ask. Teens today are finding unique and creative ways to ask and to respond to invitations to school dances and other special activities. For instance, an invitation saying "It would be cool if you would go to the homecoming dance with me" might be presented frozen inside a block of ice. An invitation that says "I am dying to go to the prom with you" might be presented inside a box of fabric dye.

The receipient of the invitation is then expected to respond in a manner similar to the method used for the original invite. If presented with an ice block, the response might say something like "I'm shivering with delight" and be placed in a cold beverage. If given a box of dye, the response might be "Roses are red; violets are blue; I'd love to go to the prom with you" presented with a box of the appropriate dye color, or in this case, two boxes of dye, or another appropriate item.

The invitation and its response can be romantic, artistic, techie or whatever fits your personality and that of your intended date. Just don't take too long to decide on and create your idea or someone else may ask her/him first.

Sweet Trend: Cake Pops and Truffles

2011-10-11T15:06:00.001-06:00

We served these colorful cake pops at a recent wedding. (They were actually dark purple, not blue, as they appear in the photo.) Guests were delighted with them and with the contrast between the soft, sweet interior and the smooth outer coating. A cake truffle is simply a cake pop without the stick; the process to make them is the same.

Though easy to make, the pops are time-consuming and a bit messy. If you plan to make your own, you can find recipes on the internet. Any cake flavor can be used, though the coating is limited to either white or chocolate candy coating, though food coloring can be added to white coating. Let your imagination run wild with the accents. You might use chopped nuts or candy, baking sprinkles, coconut, designs made with icing or many other items. For Halloween you might use spice cake dipped in orange coating and add a jack-o-lantern face. For St. Patrick's Day, add green food coloring to both the cake batter and the icing. The possibilities are limited only by your imagination.

Planning a Halloween Party

2011-09-29T22:13:00.001-06:00

In two days it will be October and time to begin thinking about Halloween parties, despite the current 90 degree days. Halloween has become as big a party time for adults as for children, so let the fun begin. Having a party may be a safer alternative for children than going door to door to trick or treat in the cold and dark.

Costumes are a must, whether you are five or sixty-five. You might have a theme party and ask guests to dress appropriately, perhaps as their favorite fictional, movie or historical character. Your decor and food should also reflect the theme. Halloween also provides an opportunity to decorate with pumpkins, jack-o-lanterns, corn stalks and other fall favorites.

Plan activities to fit the ages of your guests. Many children today have never bobbed for apples, either in a tub of water or with the apples hanging from a string. You might create your own haunted house. It is easy to do in a dark place by creating a winding trail complete with "body parts" along the way. Peeled grapes can serve as eye balls; cold spaghetti as brains. Check your nearest party store for other ideas. Just don't plan anything that will scare little ones. Some scary things are a part of Halloween, but you don't want tears throughout the party.

Send your guests home with their own trick or treat bags filled with a variety of treats, both decadent and useful. Everyone will enjoy the opportunity to celebrate with their friends and to set their inner child free for a few hours.

British Hotel Auctions Wedding on Ebay

2011-09-18T18:53:00.000-06:00

When the British government designated April 29, the date of the Royal Wedding, as a national holiday, a large conference planned for a Best Western hotel in Britian was rescheduled. Rather than have their event space and numerous guest rooms sit empty on the new holiday, the staff decided to host their own royal wedding and to auction it off on ebay. They created a package for 50 guests that included cocktails, dinner, an evening dessert buffet, music and dancing, and a guest room for the bride and groom.

The auction was posted four weeks before the wedding date and ran for three days. During that time, 27 couples expressed an interest, many calling for information, and several visiting the hotel. The winning couple paid 1,999 pounds (about $3,200 U.S.) for a package valued at 4,000 pounds. The winning couple had met on-line and this seemed like the perfect way to begin their marriage.

Congratulations to the happy couple and to the hotel for creating a unique marketing idea. The auction received press coverage all over Britain, publicity that might have otherwise cost a small fortune.

Caldwell Company Celebrates 100 Years with Four Events

2011-09-10T14:32:00.006-06:00

When George Crookham left Iowa in 1911 to grow popcorn seed in Idaho, he probably never dreamed his children, grandchildren and great grandchildren would continue in his footsteps. Today the company he founded, Crookham Company, is known for its sweet corn and onions as much as for its popcorn.Yesteday, after more than two years of planning, we held the last of four centenniel celebrations. During the past month we have celebrated with buyers, employees, retirees, family, friends, and local businesses. The Canyon County Commissioners designated September 9 as Crookham Company day in Canyon County.

On August 19 the company hosted their national and international sweet corn seed buyers. Attendees from Europe, South America, Japan, Asia, Australia, Canada and across the U.S. gathered for a full day of activities, including tours of the production fields and research stations and a catered picnic lunch at Ste. Chapelle Winery, as well as special activities for spouses. In the evening, the Caldwell Night Rodeo board hosted a pre-rodeo barbeque (http://www.idahopress.com/news/after-a-century-crookhams-very-proud/article_759b7118-cae5-11e0-8d84-001cc4c03286.html). The following day attendees enjoyed whitewater rafting on the Payette River. For many this was their first exposure to a favorite Idaho pasttime.

On August 25 the company hosted U.S. popcorn buyers for a day of field and plant tours culminating with a wine tasting and catered dinner at Ste. Chapelle Winery. The following day attendees were also treated to whitewater rafting.

September 8 was employee appreciation day and included a catered lunch for all current employees. Yesterday, September 9, over 600 people attended an open house for company retirees, family, friends, and businesses in Caldwell and Canyon County.

Many thanks to all the merchants who went above and beyond to make these events special. Thanks to the hotels in Caldwell and Nampa who juggled our room needs with those of the Caldwell Night Rodeo participants; to Caldwell Transportation for providing bussing for our visitors. Many thanks to Linda Lee and her staff at Family Ties Catering, who catered all four events; to Carlas Brown of Brother Brown's BBQ for the meat for the employee lunch and open house. Thank you, also, to the staff at Ste. Chapelle Winery and those at Cascade Raft Company for giving our visitors such a special experience and to Lakeside Lavender Farm, who provided a personal tour for spouses. Last, but not least, thanks to Melissa at Brown Rental for the gorgeous linens and other items they provided. Happy birthday, Crookham Company, and many more.

Forget the Alcohol: Serve Something Different at Your Event

2011-08-27T15:28:00.004-06:00

Serving alcohol at social events is becoming less common, both because of tight budgets and the liability involved. Hosts are increasingly seeking creative alternatives and serving unique and intriguing beverages that offer guests a pleasant surprise. At a recent wedding reception we served Italian sodas. We printed menus with drinks named for places the bride or groom had lived or traveled. A guest could order a "Manhatten" and receive a combination chocolate and caramel soda. A "Phoenix" might be strawberry. The hosts purchased the ingredients, then we hired two people to make the drinks.

If you prefer to serve a hot beverage, you might opt for an espresso bar. In this area we have mobile espresso bars you can hire to come to your event. They bring all the necessary ingredients and staff to prepare the drinks; you supply the guests.

Is tea more to your liking? If so, set up a tea station at your next party. Provide a variety of tea flavors, hot water, cups (no styrofoam, please) and add a large dispenser or two of flavored iced teas along with a bucket of ice.

How about serving milk shakes, malts or sodas? You can even hire an ice cream truck to attend your event.

If you and your guests love all things chocolate, have fun with the variety of chocolate flavored beverages available. You can purchase everything from mocha mix to chocolate flavored tea and coffee.

If you want to keep it easy and you don't want to hire someone to prepare drinks, then you might opt for canned or bottled sodas in unique flavors, such as pomegranate or blackberry. Check the Boise Co-op as well as ethnic stores for unique flavors.

If you are watching your budget, or you don't want the added liability associated with serving alcohol at your next party, choose to serve something more creative. Your guests will love it and will remember it much longer than they would remember a glass of wine or beer.

Security Planning for your Event

2011-08-15T20:57:00.004-06:00

You plan the guest list, the menu, the music, the activities, but do you have a security plan for your event? If not, you may need one. Depending on the type of event, the location and the number of attendees, you may need to consider several types of security measures, including the following.

Gifts - If your event involves gifts and/or cards (they often contain money or gift cards), they need to be kept safe. Someone with theft on their mind may not be an intruder, but a member of the catering staff, one of your guests or even the DJ or bartender. It is easy to slip a card or small item into a pocket or under a napkin without being seen, so be vigilant.

If your event will be held at a public place, such as a hotel or restaurant, place the gift table inside the room where the party occurs, not in a hall or foyer. Bring a closed container for cards, not a basket. Once everyone has arrived and the party gets started, you or your event coordinator should place the card container in a safe place out of sight, such as in a locked car or hotel room. Someone should also be designated to take gifts home at the end of the event.

If you are planning a wedding or another event where gifts may be delivered to your home, be sure someone is available to receive them rather than allowing the delivery person to leave them on the doorstep. If no one is home much of the time, you might have gifts sent to a parent's home or another safe location. To do so, simply use the alternate location as the return address on the invitation.

Coats and other valuables - If guests will be wearing coats, bringing purses, cameras or other valuables, provide a coat rack in the room where the event will occur, not in a foyer or hall. Ask guests to keep purses, cameras and similar items with them rather than leaving them laying around.

Intruders - If there is any possibility of an intruder crashing your party, be certain to inform your event planner, the venue staff, and others as the situation warrants. This might include an ex-spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend, an angry family member or someone else. A few years ago one of the presenters at a large conference was being stalked by someone who had exhibited violent tendencies. The man had followed her to other events and attempted to disrupt them, including a live television interview. We had to obtain a copy of the restraining order that had been issued in the presenter's hometown and give it to local police along with a description of the man and his vehicle. The police, the venue staff and those of us working at the conference were informed and prepared to deal with the man if he appeared.

If the guest of honor or an attendee at your event is a celebrity, particularly one who might be controversial, be certain to adequately provide for his/her safety. One summer a few years ago a former governer was involved in three weddings we coordinated. He brought his own security to two of the events, which were attended by numerous state officials. The other wedding, for a former neighbor, was so low key that he felt safe attending alone. Though we kept an eye on things, we didn't need to provide additional security.

If you or your event planner sees someone you don't know and you aren't sure they should be at your event, ask how you can help them. Often, just the knowledge that someone is aware of their presence is enough to deter a would-be intruder.

Robbers - At a wedding a few years ago, someone entered the church through the basement while the ceremony was in progress and stole personal items that had been placed in the church kitchen. To prevent similar occurances, be certain valuables are picked up and placed in a safe place. Lock outside doors and doors to dressing rooms, if possible, or lock valuables in the trunk of your car.

Also be careful about telling too many people when you plan to leave home to attend an event (including posting information on FaceBook or Twitter), even for a few hours. Unless you leave someone at your house, it could be a prime target for burglars.

Guests who drink too much - Be careful about providing too much alcohol at your event. You could be liable for the actions of guests who over indulge. Hiring a professional bartender will help, but not if guests have their own stash in a car or another place. You may want to ask a family member or a friend to keep an eye on any guest that may tend to over indulge. Better to send Uncle Charlie home in a taxi while he is still reasonably upright than risk him doing something he, and you, might later regret.

Parking lots and other dark areas - If your guests may need to park in a dark area or along a busy street at night or park some distance from the event location, ask someone to escort them to their cars rather than risk an assault or injury, particularly in bad weather.

Animals - If you have an excitable dog that might bite, better to board it at a kennel than risk injury to your guests. Also be careful of guests around horses and other animals that might inflict injury. Ask neighbors to keep their pets inside or away from noisy, perhaps rowdy, children and guests while your event occurs.

Water safety - If your event will include swimming or boating, or will occur near a lake, pond or river, plan to have life guards available. This is particularly important if children will be present.

Fire - Fire in any form is a potential hazard at an event. I have had three fires at events, all caused by unthinking guests placing items too close to votive candles. Pillar candles, even those enclosed in glass, can be knocked over. Sparklers emit embers that can burn people and clothing. Bon fires, camp fires and even fire pits can be dangerous if you and your guests aren't careful. Be particularly careful about children near fire.

Home events - If your event will be held at a private home, particularly if it will occur in the yard, several security issues may arise. If the event is not occurring in a room near the front door, keep the door locked. Also lock side doors and windows. If you don't want catering staff coming in and out of your house, set up a work station for them in the garage. (Be sure they have access to water and electricity.) The same goes for guests who need a restroom. If you are not comfortable with people in your home unsupervised, rent port-a-potties or in some way limit access to only a certain area of the house. Keep valuables out of sight and don't allow anyone to linger too long in the house.

If your yard contains obstacles that might cause injury, such as sprinkler heads, hoses, uneven sidewalks, or clothes lines, be sure to point them out. This is particularly important with children, who run and chase each other and can easily trip and fall.

By taking time to assess and plan security measures for your event, you and your guests can have a safe and enjoyable party.

Wedding in Stanley

2011-08-08T11:08:00.000-06:00

Rachel and John chose a perfect July day for their wedding beside the Salmon River in Stanley with the Sawtooth Mountains in the background. John is a native Idahoan. Rachel is from England. They wanted their wedding to be unique and memorable for all guests, particularly those coming from Europe and throughout the U.S.

The reception was held in a tent erected beside the Salmon River Lodge, where many guests were staying. The ceremony occurred nearby on the banks of the Salmon River. A barbeque reception catered by H and M Meats of Nampa followed the ceremony, with gelato, made by the bride, for dessert. In traditional English style, the fruit cake wedding cake was served later in the evening accompanied by a spread of artisan cheeses from Europe, including a couple of Irish cheddars.

Rachel purchased English lavender, both dried and plants, at Lakeside Lavender Farm's festival in early July. When the couple was pronounced husband and wife, guests tossed lavender - on their heads, down her dress and on her train.

The day after the wedding, guests had the opportunity to go whitewater rafting. Guests were thrilled with the location and the opportunity to see a side of Idaho most would have not experienced otherwise and may never experience again.

New Trend: Diaper Parties for Dads

2011-07-30T12:03:00.000-06:00

We are all familiar with baby showers for new moms. A couple of years ago baby showers for grandparents were an emerging trend. Now it is showers for dads, often called Diaper Parties. The idea behind the parties is to acknowledge a major event in a man's life and to celebrate what may be a first time dad's last opportunity to freely spend much time with his buddies. Today, most dads are actively involved in day-to-day child care, from diapering to feeding, to walking the floor at 3 a.m. That may not leave much time for golfing or fishing with the guys or other male bonding activities. So, why not celebrate the new life stage rather than mourn the end of dad's "freedom."

At a diaper party, each male guest usually brings a package of diapers, which can help the new parents financially for a few months. What the guys do at the party depends on their personalities. For some, it may be a back yard barbeque. For others, it might be an opportunity to see their favorite sports team in action, a fishing trip, or exchanging parenting advice over burgers.

If you know someone who will be a new father, you may want to celebrate this new phase in his life with a party. Not only will it be fun but it is a great way to show your support for him and help prepare him for the changes that are about to rock his world.

Entertain Easily with an Ice Cream Social

2011-07-20T19:16:00.001-06:00

Ice cream socials have been around as long as ice cream. They are an easy, informal way to entertain a group, whether it is neighbors, an end-of-school party, a youth group, Boy Scouts or Girl Scouts, 4-H club or another group. When my boys were in junior high, we ended the school years with an ice cream social with parents bringing unique flavors, such as peanut butter, peppermint, and cheesecake ice cream. The kids loved it; the more unique the flavors, the better.

Preferably the ice cream should be homemade, but if you aren't into that, any good quality ice cream works. You might ask a few of your guests to each bring a different flavor of ice cream. Others can bring toppings and things to sprinkle on the ice cream, such as nuts, chopped candy and cookie crumbs. You will need bowls, spoons, a table or two and chairs or blankets, as well as beverages.

Have fun, indulge your inner child and enjoy a summer evening with family and friends over a bowl, or several bowls, of yummy ice cream.

Cascade to Dedicate Veteran's Memorial

2011-07-13T18:49:00.000-06:00

On August 6 the city of Cascade will dedicate a bronze statue in memory of all fallen war heros who have lost their lives in combat. The statue was donated to the city by the family of John Borbonus, a 19 year old Boisean who lost his life in Iraq in 2007. The bronze statue was commissioned by the Borbonus family and created by Young Fine Art Studio of Salt Lake City.

The day begins with an air show at the Cascade airport then proceeds to Kelly's White Water Park on the north side of town for the dedication ceremony at 3 p.m. Representatives of the Idaho National Guard and the Air Force will speak. You won't want to miss this special tribute to Idaho's veterans.

U-pick Flower Farms Offer Variety and Affordability

2011-07-06T07:14:00.005-06:00

Are you planning a party? Want to make your own flower arrangements? If so, the Treasure Valley's u-pick flower farms offer a variety of flowers at reasonable prices. Wild Rush Farm (www.wildrushflowers.com), located on the east side of Nampa, offers a wide selection of blooms from July till October (or first frost), dawn to dusk, for $10 per bucket. A bucket is usually enough to make three or four bouquets or centerpieces. Flower arrangements, including flowers, vase and a card, and delivery are also offered, starting at $35. The farm is located at 6016 E. Carson Court, Nampa. Drop-ins are welcome or set an appointment by email to wildrushflowers@gmail.com.

If you enjoy the fragrance of fresh lavender and lavender products, check out Lakeside Lavender Farm (http://lakesidelavender.com/), 1003 W. Locust Lane, Nampa, or The Lavender Merchant (www.thelavendermerchant.net) in Kuna. Fresh lavender is available only briefly, usually in early to mid-July. However, lavender products, including soap, lotion, and more can be purchased year round from the farms' web sites and at several shops in the Boise area.

Both farms will host their annual lavender festivals July 9 and 10. Admission is free; hours are 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. Local artisans will be on site sharing their lavender products. Lavender lemonade and cookies are available as well. Lakeside Lavender Farm also offers horse-drawn wagon rides, music and educational classes.

Twenty Biggest Wedding Planning Mistakes

2011-06-28T20:06:00.003-06:00

The Wedding Channel.com recently posted a list of what they consider to be the top twenty biggest wedding planning mistakes. Most of the issues could also occur when planning other types of events as well. Following are the problems they identified, in no particular order, with our added comments based on many years of experience planning hundreds of events.

1. Not sticking to your budget. You have a budget for a reason. It is never okay to overspend and then pay for an event for months or years afterwards. Decide what is important to you and where you can compromise. Your guests won't know or care if you wanted steak but could afford only chicken.

2. Hiring a friend or family member as your photographer or videographer. You are only going to do this once. When the day is over you will have only your memories and your photos, so you will want quality photos. If Uncle Joe spends his time at the bar, not behind the camera, it is your loss. Additionally, your family and friends should be your guests, not your employees. And if things go wrong or you are disappointed with the results, it can strain relationships for years.

3. Planning your own shower or bachelorette party. You are the guest of honor; let your bridesmaids, your friends or your aunt do the planning. They should ask your opinion on the date and the guest list, but that is all. They are paying for the party and they get to make the decisions within reason. If they want to plan something with which you are not comfortable, however, (a male stripper, for instance), be sure to say so. If they are your friends, they should know your tastes and respect them.

The same is true for the rehearsal dinner. Traditionally, the groom's parents pay for the dinner. As hosts, they decide where the dinner will be held, what will be served, and how many people they can afford to accommodate (just the wedding party or additional guests). As the guests of honor, you and your fiance should relax and enjoy the evening.

4. Choosing members of the wedding party out of "obligation." Just because you were someone's bridesmaid years ago doesn't mean she has to be your bridesmaid. Similarly, if your fiance has never met your brother and he has several male relatives and close friends, he isn't obligated to ask your brother to be a groomsman. Your attendants should be your close friends and relatives - people who will still be in your life many years from now.

5. Arranging your own flowers, baking your own cake, etc. You won't have time to do these things on your big day. Don't work yourself into a frenzy trying to do everything yourself. That is what florists, bakers, hairdressers and other professionals are for.

6. Planning an outdoor wedding without a back-up plan. Things happen; it might be 100 degrees; it may rain; the wind could blow. Unless your ceremony and reception will be short, look for a venue with indoor - outdoor options or rent a tent.

7. Acting like a bridezilla. Though you are one of the stars of the day, you don't have the right to treat others poorly for months leading up to the wedding. No tantrums, no pouting, no trying to control others. Rather, try to enjoy the process.

8. Not planning the ceremony. Even if you will be reciting traditional vows provided by your officiant, you still need to choose music, perhaps a reading or candle lighting, and other things to complete the ceremony.

9. Trying to memorize your vows. Even if you have practiced extensively, you will be nervous and you could be forgetful. Give a written copy of the vows to your officiant. That way, if you need help, he/she will be prepared to assist.

10. Wearing new shoes for the first time on the wedding day. You don't want to be miserable on your big day, so wear the shoes around the house for a few days to break them in. Scuff the soles with sandpaper so you don't slip while walking down the aisle. If you will be wearing a higher heel than usual, be sure you are comfortable walking in them. Bring a comfortable pair of shoes to change into for the reception.

11. Waiting till after the wedding to pack for the honeymoon. If you are leaving for your honeymoon the day after the wedding, pack two or three days before the wedding. If you rush around at the last minute, you will forget something, and you sure don't want to be doing laundry on your wedding day.

12. Planning to be your own wedding coordinator. On the wedding day you will be so focused on being where you need to be (hair appointment, photos, ceremony, reception) that you won't have time to find out if the cake was delivered, the DJ has arrived and is set up, the centerpieces are set out, candles are lighted, and all the myriad details a wedding coordinator will handle for you. Don't expect your mom to act as the coordinator. She will be busy too and she will want to enjoy spending time with the guests. Hiring a day-of coordinator is one of the best investments you can make.

13. Not considering transportation needs of your guests. It is a courtesy to consider the needs of your out of town family and friends and how they will get to and from the wedding. Check with the hotel where you blocked rooms to see if their shuttle van might be available to take guests to the ceremony and pick them up afterwards. Alternatively, you might rent a trolley or ask your wedding coordinator to have the phone number of a taxi service available for those who need it.

14. Using an iPod or laptop for your music. This works only if you carefully plan your play list and you have an experienced person to operate the iPod or laptop. You can't hand it off to someone who doesn't know how to operate it or who doesn't know what to play when. A beautifully planned wedding can be ruined by problems with the music. If you are not totally confident in the ability of a designated person to handle everything smoothly, hire a professional and don't risk ruining your ceremony or reception.

15. Making a seating chart the night before the wedding. Seating charts are a major headache. You need one only if you are having a sit-down dinner with multiple entree choices. If it is a sit-down dinner with only one entree or a buffet, have your caterer or coordinator reserve tables for the wedding party and parents, then allow the other guests to sit where they want.

16. Asking for gifts. It is socially taboo to tell your guests that a gift is expected and what it should be. An invitation to a wedding is a request for family and friends to join you in celebrating a joyous occasion in your life. It isn't about gifts. If you register, and it is helpful if you do, registry information should not appear in your wedding invitation. (A shower hostess may mention it, however.) And it is never okay to ask for money in a wedding invitation. If you prefer money, then don't register and when people ask, verbally tell them you prefer money, but don't be surprised if some still bring gifts. If you live in another area, encourage guests to choose gifts from your registry and have them shipped to your home rather than bringing them to the wedding.

17. Having a cash bar. This is frowned on in many areas of the country. In Idaho we have a host liability law which makes the event host liable for the actions of guests. Therefore, it is common in this area to host beer and wine or a champagne toast and allow guests to pay for other alcohol if they choose to imbibe. Alternatively, don't make alcohol other than beer and wine available at all. It is also appropriate, and budget-friendly, not to serve any alcohol.

18. Not having a hair or make-up trial. Plan to have your hair done about a month before the wedding. Take your veil with you and also take a camera to record the style you like. The hairdresser won't remember every detail, so the photos will be helpful.

19. Not creating a day-of itinerary. You and your wedding coordinator should create a plan for the day, then she should share it with your photographer, DJ and officiant, so they can work together to make the day flow smoothly just the way you want. If you don't have a coordinator, you will need to create your own plan before the rehearsal. Nothing frustrates officiants more than being unexpectedly placed in charge of an unplanned or poorly planned rehearsal. With a plan, you should be able to run through your rehearsal twice in less than 45 minutes. Without one, your rehearsal can easily take two hours or more, with moms and bridesmaids all adding their opinions and totally stressing you out.

20. Becoming stressed out and not enjoying your day. Don't let all the details get to you. During the months leading up to the wedding, take some time away from the wedding planning; get enough sleep before the wedding; be sure to eat on the wedding day. Your guests don't know what you planned, so don't stress the details. Remember, it is the marriage that counts, not what happens on the wedding day. With a bit of pre-planning, you can have a wonderful day free from any major glitches.

Credit Scores and Wedding Vows

2011-06-21T19:22:00.002-06:00

When a couple marries, not only do they combine households, but they combine credit scores as well. Perhaps she is a saver who pays her bills on time. He is a spender who enjoys purchasing lavish gifts for her. Charming initially, but maybe not so much when reality sets in.

Each of us has a credit score. When a couple marries and they jointly apply for a loan, they may have an unpleasant surprise if one person hasn't learned to manage her or his finances. Credit scores are based on numerous criteria, including the length of a person's credit history, the amount and type of available credit on credit cards and revolving accounts, whether payments are made on time or habitually late or missed, and more.

Though each credit reporting bureau has its own scoring system, the FICO score is most commonly used by lenders. Scores range from 300 to 850. If a couple jointly applies for a loan, both scores will be checked. The lender may take an average of the two scores or they may use the lower score. Using the lower score has the potential to significantly impact the amount of monthly payments and the interest rate charged and, therefore, the total pay out on the loan.

If one spouse has a significantly lower credit score, the couple might choose to have only the person with the best score apply for a loan. However, only that person's income will be considered, which may reduce the amount you can borrow. Alternatively, the couple might choose to put off purchasing that new car and spend some time working on improving the lower credit score.

Adding a spouse to your existing credit card may or may not be a good idea. A joint credit card is factored into each spouse's credit score just as if it were an individual account. If your spouse has limited available credit and you have more, the spouse's credit score might be increased. Conversely, if the spouse overspends, then both of you will take a hit. It is possible to add a spouse to a credit card as an authorized user, not a joint owner, much like you might add a teenaged son or daughter. In that case, your credit score will be impacted less.

Knowing your intended's credit score and how he/she handles money may not affect your desire to marry, but it will help you enter the marriage with eyes wide open and begin making wise financial decisions as a couple.

An Indian Wedding in Boise

2011-06-03T19:59:00.001-06:00

I have coordinated Indian weddings in the past, but always the groom was Indian. This was my first traditional Indian wedding with an Indian bride (the groom was not). There are numerous differences. In India, the celebration can last up to five days. This one started on a Friday with the bride's mendhi, the application of henna tattoos to her hands and feet. Yes, we have a mendhi artist in Boise.

On Saturday, we had a mendhi for all the guests though only ladies were able to receive a tattoo. The event lasted two hours, with food and music.

The actual wedding ceremony occurred on Sunday morning. We gathered at the event center at 7 a.m. to erect a mandap, the "shelter" under which the couple, their parents and the officiant sat during the ceremony. It looks much like a Jewish chuppa and was elaborately decorated with flower garlands, lights and fabric.

The ceremony begins with the groom's procession, called a barat. In India the groom would arrive on either an elephant or a horse. Since elephants are hard to come by in Boise and a horse would have also been an issue, this groom arrived in a convertible surrounded by the wedding guests who were singing and dancing.

The groom proceeded to a predetermined location where he and his parents were greeted by the bride's parents and the officiant. (In India, he would have processed to the bride's home.) He was greeted with a garland of flowers and a sweet treat, then escorted to his place under the mandap. The bride's parents then escorted her to join him and the ceremony commenced. In India, they might be seeing each other for the first time if it was an arranged marriage.

After the ceremony there was a break, then guests returned in the evening for a somewhat Western style reception. During the reception, the groom "bargained" with a representative of the bride's family for the amount he was willing to pay for her. In India that would have been a serious affair. Here, it was all in fun. Her bride price was about $40.

Dressing for the Event

2011-05-26T20:56:00.003-06:00

In today's casual society we tend to think it doesn't matter how we dress to attend a special event. In reality, it matters a great deal. You don't want to embarrass yourself, your spouse or date, your family and most of all, you shouldn't want to embarrass your hosts. As an example, at a recent party two teenaged girls arrived wearing two-piece swim suits covered by t-shirts they had cut down the sides nearly to the waist, thus showing most of the swim suits. It was not a pool party; rather, it was a sophisticated birthday event held at a special venue nowhere near water. Inappropriate attire? Demeaning to the guest of honor? Totally.

At a recent wedding two women arrived looking like exotic dancers. One even flaunted her underwear and her garter belt. Inappropriate? Tawdry? Demeaning to the bride and groom? Absolutely.

At another wedding, the invitation clearly stated the ceremony would be held at a cathedral, yet a gentleman arrived wearing shorts and an older couple came to the reception in shorts, looking as if they had just completed a long road trip. Inappropriate? Definitely. Yet the "gentleman" defended his attire by saying that most of his friends didn't get married in such places, attempting to make the bride and groom responsible for his lack of judgement.

So, what is appropriate attire for an event? One way to determine is to read the invitation. If the event will be held at a church, country club or another conservative location, then conservative attire is expected. Some clubs, including country clubs, refuse admittance to those who are not properly attired, including men who arrive wearing shirts without collars. Men rarely go wrong by wearing a jacket and tie. Unless the event is very casual, ladies should wear dresses of an acceptable length, not pants and never jeans.

Children should also be dressed appropriately and they should be on their best behavior. Running around, playing chase, or monopolizing the dance floor to the exclusion of the adults shows a lack of respect for the party hosts and a lack of parental guidance.

What is inappropriate attire? Examples abound, including the following:

It is inappropriate for ladies to wear white, cream, ivory, or any near-white shade to a wedding. That color is reserved for the bride. In some cultures, ladies don't wear red or black to weddings, particularly to weddings where the bride or groom is of Asian or Indian descent.
It is inappropriate to draw attention to yourself and away from the guest/guests of honor by wearing revealing clothing - too short, too tight, too low cut. Don't show more skin than the guest of honor.
If you are invited to a wedding at a church, synagogue, or another house of worship, find out what is acceptable attire. Some churches and synagogues require women to cover their shoulders, elbows and/or knees. A head covering may be required. Men may not be allowed to wear a hat, or they may be required to wear one, so be sure to find out.
Don't dress too casually unless you are going to a picnic. Ball caps, cowboy hats, shorts, t-shirts, jeans, athletic shoes, flip flops, shirts with slogans, and similar attire are not appropriate at most social events. Some facilities also forbid cowboy boots.
Swim suits are for swimming; they are not party wear unless it is a pool party.

We show respect for our friends and family by dressing properly when attending their special event, whether it is Grandma's 80th birthday party, cousin Sally's wedding, Dad's retirement party or another event. It is particularly important to dress appropriately when attending an event hosted by someone of another culture. In that case, be sure to find out what may be considered offensive, both attire and colors.

Take the time to think about how your attire will reflect both on you and on the guest of honor. It only takes a few minutes to make a good impression, but it can take years to erase a bad one.

Friday the 13th Wedding

2011-05-16T20:20:00.000-06:00

Jennifer is a bride who knows her own mind and who has a style that is totally her own. She chose to be married on Friday the 13th, considering it a lucky day, not a bad one. Following are a few photos from the big day.

The cake with an El Dia de Los Muertos
skeleton bride and groom topper

The ring bearer's pillow (laying on suckers on the candy table)

Lighting the sky lanterns - they are safe and biodegradable.

Cherie, who performed the ceremony

The chocolate moustaches were a big hit.

Wanted: Day-of Wedding Coordinator

2011-05-05T22:16:00.004-06:00

You are planning your wedding and you are beginning to realize just how many details are involved, particularly on the wedding day. You won't have time or opportunity to do anything; you have a hair appointment; you need to dress; you will be taking photos, and on and on.

Can Mom do it? No, she will be in the photos and you want her to enjoy the day. Can Aunt Martha do it? Maybe, but will she want to miss the festivities to spend her time rushing around in the background? So, your best option is to hire a day-of wedding coordinator. Right? Maybe.

Myth: A day-of coordinator can be hired shortly before the wedding, after all the details are in place.

Reality: If you wait, you may not be able to find a knowledgeable and experienced coordinator. (Beware the person who is hoping you will be her first client.) Coordinators book months, sometimes a year or more, in advance. They book day-of events just like they book events at which they are assisting with the planning. If her calendar is full, you are out of luck.

Myth: A day-of coordinator will take your plans and make them happen.

Reality: In most cases, unless you have planned numerous events in the past, the coordinator will need to tweak your plans to fit the realities of your location, weather, time of day and other considerations. For instance, if you are planning an outdoor wedding, those tall, skinny centerpieces may look pretty, but they won't remain standing long. The slightest breeze and they will topple, leaving your linens soaking wet and the centerpieces unusable. Or, you plan to use paper plates at a windy location. If you do, your guests may end up wearing their dinner rather than enjoying it. Or how about those bees or the fruit flies at the winery that love to crawl around on your food? Ick! A knowledgeable coordinator will know about these issues and many others and will recommend solutions.

Myth: Hiring a day-of coordinator will insure that the day goes smoothly.

Reality: The coordinator can only control so much. If you have hired merchants who are new to the wedding scene or you have chosen a less than desirable location, your coordinator will do what she can to make your dreams a reality, but she can't control the behavior of unskilled merchants, the leaking roof, the overflowing toilets and other issues. At a recent wedding, the couple chose not to spend the money to hire a DJ, opting instead to hire someone who plays karoake at a bar. The result was no music for the ceremony, no microphone for the officiant, and no one to make announcements or help keep things flowing. When couples choose not to heed the advice of the coordinator, she can't perform miracles.

Whether you are hiring a coordinator to help with all the planning or just for the day, she should be available to advise you throughout the planning process. Though a day-of coordinator won't visit merchants with you, she should give you advice on questions to ask and what to look for so you make informed decisions. She should offer referrals to dependable merchants who have a reputation for providing quality service at an affordable price and who are willing to work with you and your budget.

You need to meet with your day-of coordinator several times before the wedding, often enough to develop a relationship. You should feel comfortable with her and she should understand your personality and tastes. That way, any decisions she needs to make will be ones you would have made.

Your day-of coordinator should help you create a timeline for the rehearsal and wedding day and she should be at the rehearsal to supervise activities in cooperation with your officiant. If your officiant doesn't attend rehearsals, she should be prepared to conduct the rehearsal.

Hiring a day-of wedding coordinator is one of the best decisions you can make to assure that your wedding day is as flawless as possible, but don't wait until the last minute to hire her. Do it while she is available, then trust her to handle all the details so you, and your mom, can enjoy your big day.

Post Event Clean-Up Activities

2011-04-27T12:14:00.003-06:00

The party is over; the guests have gone. Now, who is going to clean up? If the party host isn’t able to do it and didn’t specifically appoint someone, it may not get done, since everyone thinks it is someone else’s responsibility, so no one does it.

If your party will be held at a facility that provides clean-up services, you are fortunate, though you will still need to do a few things. Many facilities require the renter to pay a cleaning deposit. The party host will forfeit the deposit if the venue isn’t cleaned properly and in a timely manner. (Deciding to come back “in the morning” to clean up may not be an option if the venue is rented the next day.)

To insure that you get your deposit back, several days before the party ask someone to be in charge of clean-up activities or to assist the host in cleaning up. Don’t leave the host by her/himself to do it all, particularly late at night. Many hands can make the work go quickly.

If the host needs to ask someone to supervise the clean-up, choose someone who will understand the finer points of cleaning. Often, a young, single man does not have the same standards as a more mature friend or relative. Cleaning activities may include the following:

• Clearing tables and possibly washing dishes
• Removing gifts if the event was a birthday or anniversary party, a shower or a wedding
• Removing linens, decorations and centerpieces
• Dismantling tables and chairs or replacing them where they were originally found
• Stacking rented items for pick-up or returning them to the rental center the following day
• Cleaning the kitchen, including caring for left-over food and beverages
• Sweeping, mopping, and emptying trash
• Checking rest rooms and dressing rooms for trash and personal belongings
• Turning out lights, turning off air conditioners, and locking doors

Be certain the person in charge knows what to do with decorations and other items. You may need to provide containers for decorations, particularly breakable ones, and for food. If any of the decorations belong to the facility, note which ones. Also provide information on how to handle rented items - when the items will be picked up and where they should be stacked. If you are uncertain of the facility’s policies, be sure to ask, and if possible, get a written list of instructions. Most facilities will hold your cleaning deposit until they have had time to inspect the facility, then it will be returned if the cleaning meets their standards.

Though clean-up activities take some of the glamour out of the festivities, a few minutes spent delegating activities can save you money and headaches in the long run.

ID Rocky Mountain Ranch Mentioned in Martha Stewart Weddings Magazine

2011-04-13T09:53:00.001-06:00

Congratulations to ID Rocky Mountain Ranch in Stanley, which was mentioned in the most recent edition of Martha Stewart Weddings magazine as a destination wedding location. You can find the article at www.marthastewartweddings.com/photogallery/west-coast-reception-locations#slide_5.

If you are seeking a memorable mountain location for your wedding, family reunion or another event for up to 50 guests, be sure to check out the Ranch. Their staff can help with many of your event needs, from catering to lodging. The 1,000 acre ranch, established in 1930, is listed on the National Register of Historic Sites. The main lodge and many of the guest cabins are original and offer fantastic views of the Sawtooth Mountains.

Choosing Transportation for your Event

2011-04-04T15:09:00.001-06:00

Most events include transportation of some type, some of it necessary and other times just for fun. We are fortunate to have a variety of transportion options in this area. If you are having a large event and need to transport attendees, you might reserve a shuttle bus. If you are having a business meeting with out-of-town attendees, you might rent a town car or a van or even a limo if you want to transport people in style.

If your event requires a large number of people to be transported more than a few miles, you can rent a full-sized passenger bus, complete with air conditioning and reclining seats and possibly a restroom. These buses are perfect for taking guests to an out-of-town event, such as one in McCall. We will be using several buses this summer to transport guests around the Caldwell area and to Banks for whitewater rafting.

Limos are used extensively to transport wedding parties and for proms and quinceaneras. You might also rent one for mom and dad's anniversary party to allow them to arrive in style. If you want to add a romantic touch to a wedding, consider renting a horse-drawn carriage or a stylish antique car.

Want to do something special for an anniversary or birthday? How about renting a hot air balloon for a view of the city. Or maybe you prefer a helicopter or a small plane. Many people like to fly to McCall for breakfast or lunch, which makes a special birthday gift or a unique way to propose.

Getting married on a golf course? You might borrow golf carts to transport the wedding party to a special area for photographs. Or consider renting a bicycle taxi, available from www.bicytaxiboise.com/, either for your photo shoot or to transport wedding party members.

Are you getting married by a river or lake? The bride might arrive by canoe or boat. At Shore Lodge in McCall, we have arranged for the bride and groom to arrive at the reception by boat. Couples might also leave by boat after the wedding.

Your choices are numerous, depending on the type of party or event you are planning, the time of year, and the location. With a bit of imagination, you can do most anything, thus adding a special touch to your wedding, prom or other special event.

Planning an Event? There are Apps to Help

2011-03-26T23:19:00.002-06:00

Today, in our technology oriented society, if you have a smartphone, an iPad or an iPod, you have access to apps for just about everything, including ones to help you plan your next event. Using an app can't replace the services provided by an event planner, but they may help you stay organized and on-target financially.

The "Event Planning Tools" app by Party Aficionado, an event management firm, can help narrow down venue choices. It also includes an event budget calculator. Available for Andriod phones for a small fee.

If you are planning a wedding, you may want to check out "Brides Wedding Genius" offered by Brides magazine for free to users of Apple devices. The app contains content from the magazine's advertisers, including a wide array of gowns, bridesmaids' dresses and jewelry options. Users can create a folder to store their favorites, as well as photos from other sources. For $3, Task Tracker, a planning calendar and task reminder, can be added. The "Digital Wedding Binder" feature allows users to set up a personal web site on BridesWeddingGenius.com and coordinate the data in their phone with the web site.

"IWedding Deluxe" is another planner available to Apple users for the hefty fee of $10. It contains fewer features than "Brides Wedding Genius," so may not be worth the money.

Currently only one app, "Wedding PlanIt," is available to Andriod phone users planning a wedding. It enables the user to create and manage a guest list and to post photos. The app can be purchased or a free version, which contains ads, is available. (I have to question why anyone would want to manage their guest list on their phone instead of in a more comprehensive spreadsheet unless the guest list is very small.)

If your phone of choice is a Blackberry, the "Wedding Organizer" app, available for $3, is currently your only choice.

If you need help only with managing your event expenses, you may prefer the app from Mint.com. You can enter your budget and then track expenses, so you know exactly what you have spent and how much you still have available at any moment. This is handy when you are shopping.

If you love gadgets, you may find one or more apps helpful in planning your next event. What an app can't do, however, is calm your nerves, solve last minute problems or guide you through your event. Only a real event planner can do that.

Planning a Sweet 16 Party

2011-03-15T11:08:00.004-06:00

Turning 16 is a big deal for many teen-agers, especially girls. They want to celebrate in style with their friends; however, it is easy for the planning and costs to get out of hand if mom and dad don't set, and enforce, limits. The following suggestions will help you plan a fun party while keeping the bank account in tact.

Set a budget. Decide how much you can spend and how flexible you are willing to be. It is never a good idea to go into debt for a party. If you can afford only a family dinner with extended family and perhaps a few friends or a pajama party for a group of girls, that is fine. Don't let your teen talk you into more than you can handle.
Consider co-hosting the party with the parents of another teen who is also turning 16. By sharing expenses, you may be able to do more for the kids. This is particularly appropriate if the two teens have the same group of friends.
Consider the budgets of the young people who will be invited. Having a formal dance, similar to a prom, with the expense of gowns and tuxedos, may be too expensive for many guests to be able to attend, as would having the party at a resort location. It isn't necessary to compete with the parties your teen's friends have had. The focus should be on fun, not cost.
Decide on the primary activities. Perhaps it will be a pool party followed by a barbeque. Or maybe the kids prefer to dance or engage in another activity. The activity you plan will determine where the party will be held, the time of day, and other issues.
Don't forget about curfews, noise and similar community issues. Many cities have a curfew for teens, so plan to end the party 30 to 45 minutes before curfew, depending on how far guests need to drive to get home. If you will play music outdoors, be certain it doesn't violate a noise ordinance or disturb neighbors. Also consider parking, particularly in a residential area. You don't want the guests' cars to be ticketed.
Consider hiring a party planner. A professional event planner will know the best locations to meet your needs and she/he will be able to help contain costs for food, music and other amenities. You can often save more than the planner's fee.
Be certain to have enough security. You will be responsible for the safety of the guests, so be sure to have adequate supervision during the party. Teens should not have access to alcohol or drugs, nor should they have the opportunity to slip away to engage in inappropriate sexual activities, smoking, or any other questionable activity. If you have a pool party, you will need people to act as life guards. When groups of teens get together, expect a certain amount of horse play and silliness, so be prepared.
Send out invitations requesting an RSVP and monitor who attends. Don't allow invited guests to invite their friends without your permission. It is easy for a party to get out of hand or for older non-teen adults to attend and attempt to influence the kids in what may be inappropriate ways.

With a bit of planning, your teen can have a memorable 16th birthday party free from problems, one that she/he and you will long remember.

New Zealand Bride Trapped in Earthquake Uses Cell Phone to Survive

2011-03-03T09:20:00.001-07:00

Seventy-two hours before her wedding a New Zealand bride was sitting at her desk at work in Christchurch, New Zealand when last week's earthquake occurred. The office tower was destroyed and she was trapped on her back in a small space between collasped floors. Finding that her cell phone still worked, she texted her fiance, who worked across the city, to let him know she was alive but buried in the debris.

Her fiance rushed to the scene and assisted rescue workers as they dug through the wreckage, helping free other people as they sought to find the bride. During the six hours leading up to her rescue, the couple continued to text. The groom was able to keep her calm and provide updates on the progress of her rescue.

The bride suffered no injuries in her ordeal and the wedding occurred on time and nearly as planned. The groomsmen lost their suits in the earthquake and the bakery providing the cake was destroyed, but the church and reception center were undamaged. At least 145 people died in the earthquake, so the couple included a brief memorial tribute in their ceremony.

Invitations That Say "No Boxed Gifts"

2011-02-18T10:53:00.003-07:00

Have you received a recent invitation containing the phrase "no boxed gifts?" Did you wonder what they mean - give only "soft" gifts, like linens, not boxed items like toasters? In reality, this is the latest attempt to solicit money as a gift without coming right out and asking for it, which would be a major breach of etiquette. In some Eastern cultures, such as Pakistani or Indian, this term has been traditionally used to indicate a preference for money, not actual gifts. As frequently happens, those in our Western world have adopted the wording and applied it to their own events.

Occasionally, the term is legitimately used, particularly when it refers to someone who may need to ship or transport gifts after a wedding or another party and who cannot take large, bulky items. In that case, giving smaller, "soft," easily packed items is reasonable. However, it shouldn't be printed on the invitation.

From an etiquette perspective, gifts shouldn't be mentioned on an invitation at all. If the recipients don't want or need gifts, then they can verbally tell guests, when asked, that they don't need gifts or they would prefer money or gift cards. To put anything in writing or to solicit gifts in any way is rude and can offend guests, resulting in no gifts at all. Guests are not obligated to give gifts if they cannot afford to, so putting anyone on the spot for a selfish reason can harm relationships. Better to be thoughtful than to unintentionally offend.

RSVPs - Do They Mean Anything Today?

2011-02-06T19:32:00.002-07:00

If you have planned an event in the last few years and asked invitees to RSVP, you may have encounted resistance, or, worse yet, people who RSVPed they were coming, but didn't show, leaving you with possibly hundreds of dollars in wasted food. The trend seems to be getting worse with each passing year.

RSVP is French for "Respond, please." It means just that. Invitees need to respond even if they do not plan to attend. Those planning the event need to know how much food to order, how many tables and chairs to rent, how many servers to engage and other issues. Invitations include response cards or a phone number or e-mail for a reason. If guests fail to respond to an invitation to a social event, the hosts may have to spend hours making phone calls. If it is a business event and you fail to respond, you won't be tracked down. Rather, you will be embarrassed when you arrive and are not expected.

In years past, people failed to respond but still came to the event, expecting to magically find a place card with their name on it and a meal ready and waiting, as well as space at a table to sit. I have had guests who failed to respond yet showed up with family in tow, saying "we will sit wherever there is space and we will eat whatever is prepared." Unfortunately, there may not be enough food prepared or tables available. Just last week, for a business event, a well known businessman arrived, and not finding a name badge because he failed to RSVP, pulled out his invitation to "remind" us that he had been invited and was supposed to be there. Another invitee invited her staff members to join her without first checking with the hosts, creating embarrassment when the staff arrived and found they were not expected and had no place to sit.

In the last four or five years, people have begun responding that they will attend an event and then not coming, sometimes in significant numbers. I have had events where 300 said they were coming and 50 didn't attend. I have also had events where 65 said they were coming and 15 didn't show. That is almost one quarter of the guests! And that is a lot of wasted food and manpower.

Have we become such a casual society that we no longer think about anyone other than ourselves? Do we not care that our thoughtlessness may cost someone hundreds of dollars and possibly strain or ruin friendships? Let's take the time to think about how our actions affect others and do the right thing - send in that RSVP whether you are attending or not.

Small Business Development Center Celebrates 25 Years

2011-01-27T10:52:00.001-07:00

The Idaho Small Business Development Center (ISBDC) will celebrate 25 years of serving Idaho small businesses with a luncheon and small business awards ceremony on February 1st. Lt. Governor Brad Little will speak. Six idaho businesses that used the help of their local SBDC to take their business to the next level will be honored.

Small Business Development Centers are located at colleges and universities around the nation. The six Idaho centers are located at Boise State University in Boise, North Idaho College in Post Falls, Lewis-Clark State College in Lewiston, College of Southern Idaho in Twin Falls, Idaho State University in Pocatello and at ISU's Idaho Falls campus.

Through the years the ISBDC has been instrumental in helping hundreds of businesses throughout Idaho. Some have gone on to become well-established chains, such as Smoky Mountain Pizza. Many have used the expert advice they received to better serve their customers and to create new jobs.

If you need help with your small business, whether you are thinking of starting a business or need help to grow an existing business, give your local SBDC a call. The counseling is free.

Update - On February 22, 2011 Inc magazine named the Idaho Small Business Development Center in Boise as one of the top 10 SBDCs in the country, http://www.inc.com/articles/201102/americas-10-most-helpful-sbdcs.html Way to go!

Are You the Victim of Behavioral Target Marketing?

2011-01-18T12:53:00.003-07:00

Have you spent time on the Internet searching for resources for your reunion, party, wedding, or another event and then found your e-mail in-box filled with spam from companies offering you everything from the perfect location to the perfect dress to sunglasses for your outdoor event? If so, you are the victim of behavioral target marketing. Behavioral advertising – the practice of tracking someone’s online activities to deliver targeted advertising – can raise potential privacy issues.

When you visit commercial web sites, those sites may place a "cookie" on your computer. A "cookie" is a small bit of information placed on your computer's hard drive that can later be read back by the business who placed it there. This is useful because the browser "remembers" bits of specific information, such as your choices when filling out a form or survey. Some cookies are temporary; others are permanent and you must remove them from your computer when you delete files.

Many cookies are relatively harmless and make web surfing easier, such as those that "remember" passwords for you. Others can lead to a serious invasion of your privacy and the collection of data you never intended to share. The Federal Trade Commission sued Sears/Kmart for tracking shoppers' every move without their informed consent, "monitoring almost all Internet use on their computer, including the sender, recipient, and subject of web-based email and information transmitted in secure transactions related to everything from online banking and prescription records to video rentals."

A recent form of behavioral marketing tracks purchases made with a debit card. Did you use your debit card to purchase a Big Mac for lunch? Of so, don't be surprised to receive coupons from McDonalds shortly thereafter. Three major east-coast banks are allowing marketers to track debit transactions made by their customers. Can other banks be far behind? The banks insist that your personal information is secure, but you never know. All it takes is one computer-savvy person to access your bank account and create havoc.

If you think you may be the target of unwanted behavioral marketing tactics, you can protect yourself, though you probably can't totally eliminate the problem. First, be careful about filling out and submitting random surveys and forms. If you do fill out a form, first read the disclosure information to find out if the cookie placed on your computer will be permanent or temporary. Then, as soon as you submit the form, run "Disk Cleanup" (found on PCs by choosing Programs, Accessories, Disk Cleanup) or delete cookies and temporary Internet files from your computer by going to "Tools" on the top menu bar and choosing Internet Options, General, and then Browsing History. If you don't know how to do that, or feel uncomfortable doing it, ask someone for assistance. You should get in the habit of deleting temporary files every few days. Doing so will free up space on your hard drive and help with Internet security issues. You should also be certain you have up-to-date antivirus software, some of which can detect unwanted or potentially malicious cookies on your computer.

The Internet is a wonderful tool that has streamlined our lives but it can be used for unethical purposes without our knowledge, so be careful when you are surfing.

32nd Annual Wedding Party Show

2011-01-10T10:48:00.001-07:00

The 32nd annual Wedding Party Show was this weekend. Over 1,150 brides came through along with grooms, parents, friends and others. In total, nearly 5,000 people attended. The show provided an opportunity for brides to connect with over 100 vendors who can provide the services needed for the perfect wedding.

We had the opportunity to discuss locations, decor and other ideas with many of the attendees, including a group of high school students who are planning their prom. We were impressed with the vendors who reached out to the girls, offering discounts to their small school and one who offered to give a discount on tuxedos and donate a portion of each tux rental back to the school. Merchants like that make our community a great place to live. It is going to be a great year for weddings in southern Idaho!

New Charity Plans Weddings for the Terminally Ill

2011-01-04T18:21:00.001-07:00

Wish Upon a Wedding is a unique non-profit organization that plans weddings at no cost for a bride or groom suffering from a terminal illness or another life-altering situation. Started in California in January 2010, the organization is only a year old, but already boasts 16 chapters around the country with 14 more scheduled for 2011. In 2010 they planned 13 weddings in locations ranging from Chicago to Houston to California.

Weddings are limited to 50 guests and must occur within 300 miles of a chapter location. WUW can arrange for the bride's gown, groom's attire, photography, venue, catering, music, cake and more. Things they do not secure include clothing for members of the wedding party, alcoholic beverages, and some other services that may not directly affect the bride or groom or that may not be available in the wedding location. What they can provide is special memories for the bride and groom and their guests.

If you know someone who is seriously ill and would like to be married, or if you are an event professional and you would like to volunteer your services to help grant someone's wish, visit http://wishuponawedding.org/ for information.

Planning a Reunion in 2011?

2010-12-23T17:28:00.001-07:00

Reunions are big business and a great way to stay connected with extended family, former classmates, and others. According to Reunions magazine, approximately 350,000 reunions occur each year. The largest share, about 200,000, are family reunions. Class reunions account for over 100,000 with military and other types of reunions, such as fraternity, sorority, or those devoted to a hobby or sport making up the balance. The average attendance per reunion is 50.

Having a reunion tends to be recession-proof, but the decisions involved may be scaled back to accommodate the budgets of the majority of attendees. According to the Washington Travel Industry Association, over 1 million adults and children living in Washington attend a family reunion each year, many of which are held in city parks. Parks are affordable and tend to offer a variety of activities, from museums, zoos and play grounds to baseball diamonds and tennis courts.

As you begin planning your reunion you will need to decide how long it will last, the location, activities that will occur, and how food will be handled. You might assign each activity to a different family, or for a class reunion, form committees to oversee the various activities. You might want to start a web site or a blog so everyone invited can be informed of plans as they progress.

If you haven't connected with your extended family for several years or a milestone class year is approaching, this may be a good time to begin thinking about having a reunion.

Royal Engagement Boosts British Economy

2010-12-14T22:04:00.001-07:00

When Prince William proposed to Kate Middleton in October he created a marketing frenzy that is having a huge impact on the British economy. Designers and manufacturers of commerative items are rushing to get their merchandise into stores before the April 29 wedding. Travel agents, airlines, car rentals, hotels and restaurants are all gearing up for the influx of royal guests and celebrity watchers. Media sales are booming, everything from newspapers and magazines to DVDs. All want those exclusive interviews and photos that lead to increased revenue.

The bride-to-be has become a fashion icon to be emulated, like her late mother-in-law Princess Diana. Copies of the dresses and gowns she wears fly off the racks. Discounted copies are even bigger sellers.

Even Kate Middleton's parents are benefitting. Sales at the mail order business they own, Party Pieces (www.partypieces.co.uk), have increased dramatically in recent months.

Now, if we had an American equivalent of a royal couple, the U.S. economy might also receive a needed boost. Unfortunatley, the Obama girls are a bit young.

Is Your Non-profit Planning a Fund Raising Event?

2010-12-03T17:50:00.001-07:00

Non-profits and fund raisers seem to go together. We frequently hear about golf tournaments, dinners and dances, or visits by a celebrity to benefit a local charity. However, holding a special event may not be the best way to reach donors, nor may it be the best use of your time and resources. The following article offers much to think about before jumping into planning your next fund raiser. The article is compliments of the Idaho Non-profit Center.

Avoiding the Highly Contagious Special Events Bug

by Derrick Feldmann

The committee meetings have been long, frequent, and intense. Subcommittees have offered detailed descriptions of their challenges. Time has been reallocated from other initiatives and resources have been redirected. Board members have weighed in with their directives.

Take a peek inside one of those meetings and what do you hear? Discussions about strategic vision? Opportunities to be seized? No. You hear talk about napkin colors, hole sponsorships (golf), and balloon vendors.

Welcome to the nonprofit event — one of the most abused, misused, and addictive forms of fundraising. And one of the main reasons fundraisers pull out their hair and ask, "When will this craziness stop?" How about now?

We're not suggesting that events have no place in a fundraising program. On the other hand, we are saying that, unless you're thinking strategically about why and for whom you're hosting these events, unless you're setting real goals for what you want to achieve at and after the event, and unless you're keeping your event in perspective as a piece of the fundraising plan, then your event is probably — like the balloons discussed ad nauseam — full of hot air.

A matter of perspective

Seriously, the problem is not with events in general. The problem is that organizations that rely on event income typically measure success by only two metrics: attendance numbers and income. By focusing only on those two factors, they overlook more important measures, as the following examples demonstrate.

The golf outing - The weather has cooperated and the foursomes are full. Almost every hole has a sponsor and every golfer will get a sleeve of golf balls. Everything seems perfect...and then your executive director steps onto the first tee box and finds four 20-something junior professionals from the local bank yakking on their cell phones. He overhears them bragging that they are playing golf on the bank's dime for some charity, they're not sure which one.

Is this the intended result of all that time spent in planning? So your CEO could shake hands with a hundred golfers who have little interest in supporting your organization? So he could eat lunch with the only people your real targets could find who had the time to spend a day out of the office?

The gala dinner - All the tables are full and the speaker is booked. The menu meets everyone's needs and the cash bar is ready for action. The attendees begin to form a line at the registration table and you soon recognize a trend.

Sure, the biggest company in town purchased two tables, but the people filling the seats seem to be guests of the company, not those individuals in the company who are interested in your organization or able to influence future support. Your suspicions that they are only there for the free party are confirmed when you realize that none of them are bidding in your live and silent auctions.

You can easily see the challenges in these two examples. Attendees often are not the ideal audience to educate or even ask for a gift — and yet you just spent nearly $30 a plate to wine and dine them. And your staff certainly sees the low return on investment of cash, time, and energy. But how do you get your board to understand that long-term sustainability for your organization will likely never come from special events? The best approach is to go to the board with solid criteria for deciding whether an event is right — or whether other tools would do a better job for your organization.

Assess your event

Here are steps to include in your assessment of a single-solution event — whether it's the golf tournament you've held for years or the gala dinner your new board chair wants to hold next year.

Review how you got here. Detail how you came to the conclusion that an event is the best way to raise money. Are all your assumptions still accurate and correct?

Don't just plan — strategize. Decide the purpose of the event at the outset. Is it to raise money or cultivate relationships? Raising money implies there will be an "ask." If so, make sure your prospects are capable of giving and passionate about your mission. If you are focusing on cultivating donors, then smaller, more intimate gatherings might be a better option than a 400-person dinner gala.

The event is over; now what? What's the follow-up strategy? Will attendees get a personal call from a board member seeking a gift? Will thank-you notes be sent? Events can be so time-consuming that we often consider the event to be the finish line and overlook the follow-up. Organizations that use events effectively consider the conclusion of the event to be the beginning of a new relationship.

Don't lie to yourself. Sure, we all want successful and profitable events, but we often forget to really consider the cost of the event when we evaluate profit. Did you account for paid staff time? Doing so may have a negative impact on net revenue. How have you considered the cost on your volunteers? Events can often lead to volunteer burnout, which is a real and detrimental cost and can have significant negative consequence on future fundraising.

Take a different approach

Okay, so now that you're thoroughly disappointed with your events, what consolation can we offer?

Keep doing events, but as part of a diverse fundraising program. Events shouldn't be automatically shunned, but they should be incorporated into an overall strategic development program and not viewed as singular activities to raise money. Just as certain programs will interest some donors but not others, individual fundraising efforts will connect with some while leaving others unmoved. Diversify to find ways to reach all your donors and prospects.

Host smarter events. Consider the notion of having more small events rather than one colossal activity. These could be small receptions in a board member's home for donors and major gift prospects, or coffee with the president for planned gift candidates. These are generally less costly, less time-consuming, and more focused on getting you closer to the "right people."

Take the cure

A wise board member once shared a simple yet lasting interpretation of event fundraising, saying that a reliance on events is sort of like a cold. It's easy to "catch," but difficult to get rid of. He's right. Think about how easy it is for a board to decide that an event will cure all their ills, how easy it is to become dependent on events, and how hard it is to wean the organization off them.

Unfortunately, there's another, even more problematic aspect to the "disease:" Once you've trained your donors that events are your preferred method of fundraising, it becomes harder to open the door to major gifts and planned giving. After all, where's the fun in that?

Derrick Feldmann is CEO of Achieve, an Indianapolis-based consulting firm for nonprofits.

Are You Hosting an Employee Holiday Party?

2010-11-22T10:29:00.004-07:00

Hosting a holiday party for your employees, and possibly their spouses and families, can be a nice way to say thank you for their commitment to the success of your business. Recently, the economy has caused many businesses to rethink the way they entertain, possibly cutting back on the type of party, who is invited, and where it is held.

A couple of years ago I began receiving calls from businesses wanting only limited help, such as finding an inexpensive location where they could provide their own food and play their own music. In years past, those businesses would have held their party at a restaurant or hotel. They would have engaged an event planner to make the arrangements, assist with decor, and to be on site during the party. Now, they prefer to pay the event planner for limited assistance and often choose not to have the planner on site during the party. They are having a caterer drop off food, ordering pizza or purchasing deli trays. Music is often provided on a laptop or an iPod rather than hiring a DJ or band. Some businesses are cutting back even further and having luncheons to which only employees are invited.

One local business decided that with so many unemployed and going without during the holidays, it would be imprudent to continue having a lavish party. Instead, they invited employees and spouses to a cocktail party. Before the party, employees were asked to suggest charitable organizations to which the company might make a donation. The chosen organizations were then announced at the cocktail party. Everyone was happy with the new plan, which will be continued in the future.

Another business invited their employees and families to attend a special screening of a family-friendly movie at a local theater. The company reserved an entire theater for the event and hosted a limited amount of concessions. It was an easy, family friendly way to entertain and required minimal planning.

If you want to entertain with dinner and dancing at a hotel or restaurant, you can cut costs by selecting a reasonably priced entree and by limiting or eliminating alcohol. You might also limit the length of the party. It doesn't need to continue until midnight or beyond with everyone getting sloshed to be a great party. Ask your employees to bring gifts for an animal shelter or another charity, such as Toys for Tots. Use your party to both entertain and give back.

Whatever you decide to do, your employees will cooperate if you tell them in advance your reasons for having the type of party you are planning. Everyone knows someone who is out of work, who may have lost their home, or is struggling in some other way, so they understand the need to be financially responsible. Many will thank you for your sensitivity to the community, not just to your business.

Department of Insurance Offers Advice for Newly Weds

2010-11-08T20:54:00.002-07:00

If you think combining households is difficult when a couple marries, consider combining insurance plans. Will you use her car insurance company, his company, or choose a new one? Whose homeowners or renters policy will you keep and whose will go? Will you add him to your health insurance; will he add you to his, or will each of you keep your own insurance? How about dental insurance? Vision insurance? Life insurance? If either of you has children, the decisions become more complicated.

Fortunately, the Idaho Department of Insurance has the answers. The agency has published an article, "Combining Insurance," that will help you through the maze and enable you to make the best decisions for your particular situation. You can find the article at http://www.doi.idaho.gov/ConsumerAlerts/combining%20insurance2.pdf

Events Scottish Style

2010-10-31T18:18:00.003-06:00

I recently returned from Scotland where I had the opportunity to learn about and experience events Scottish style. Want to get married in a castle, abbey or palace? The Scottish government through its Historic Scotland department, maintains most of the publicly owned historic buildings and they will be happy to accommodate your wishes at one of fourteen sites. Some of the castles, such as Campbell Castle in Dollar (pictured above), are ruins. Your event will need to be held outside, either on the hillside in front of the castle or in the center courtyard, which is large and grass-covered. Others, such as Edinburgh Castle, have been restored to their former glory and you can hold your event in one of several rooms open to the public. To find just the right venue, the Scottish government maintains a web site devoted exclusively to rentals at http://www.historic-scotland.gov.uk/index/places/hire/corpevents.htm

You can also hold an event at the ruins of St. Andrews Cathedral in St. Andrews. Because the cathedral is associated with the Church of Scotland, the procedure to obtain permission is lengthy and complex. Again, the event will need to be held outside.

In Dundee we happened upon preparations for a 30th birthday party being held on the 1824 British Naval frigate Unicorn (below) docked in the Dundee harbor. The ship's staff was setting up tables on two decks and decorating them with black plastic table cloths, votive candles and black balloons. All the ship's gunnery windows are simply open holes in the side of the ship, so the ship is unheated. It was going to be a very cold party that evening.

Birthdays are a big deal in Scotland. The Scots love to celebrate, send cards and give gifts, even to casual friends. However, gifts are not opened at parties. Rather, the honoree opens them in private after the party. This is particularly helpful at children's parties; no one feels as if their gift wasn't "good enough" and no one tries to "out do" others.

Though cake is available, it is for display only and isn't served at the party. Rather, guests receive a piece wrapped in a napkin or tucked into a small box to take home and enjoy later, smashed icing and all.

Jilted Bride Turns Tragedy into Joy

2010-10-02T13:29:00.000-06:00

When the fiance of a Chicago-area bride got cold feet and cancelled the wedding six days before it was to occur, the bride knew she would lose all the money that had been spent planning the perfect party. Rather than allow that to happen, she moved the party to a large retirement complex. Over 300 residents enjoyed the Halloween-themed food and centerpieces and the DJ played the night away. The bride knew no one at the home before the party. Now, she has 300 new friends. Though she lost the money she had paid to the original wedding facility, her generousity blessed many grateful people.

Economy Continues to Affect Wedding Planning

2010-09-22T19:38:00.002-06:00

This past weekend I coordinated two weddings. The first was paid for by the two sets of parents with a small amount contributed by the couple. The second was paid for entirely by the couple. According to a survey conducted by http://www.getmarried.com/, 92 percent of couples today help pay for some or all of their wedding expenses. As the economy continues to lag, couples are rethinking their choices and watching every penny. Nationally, wedding expenditures dropped approximately 10 percent between 2008 and 2009 and that trend may continue.

As couples consider what is important to them and what they can live without or compromise on, some are turning to used items. A gently used gown may be a consideration or used centerpiece items. Men are increasingly choosing to wear suits they own rather than renting a tux. Couples are looking for the best deals in locations. Fewer are hiring bands or even DJs, choosing instead to create their own music on an iPod or laptop. You can even buy a used wedding ring at www.idonowidon't.com/. In southwestern Idaho we have the Be Twice Inspired consignment sales, held twice a year, where you can find every possible item needed for a wedding or a special party.

Incorporating used items into your wedding is eco friendly and helps keep items out of the landfill. According to TheGreenBrideGuide.com, the average wedding produces 63 tons of carbon dioxide and 400 to 600 pounds of trash. That includes such things as wasted food (which produces much of the CO2), paper and plastic products, bottles, cans, and even the gift wrap on all those gifts.

Purchasing used items is not without risk, however, particularly if you purchase off the Internet. The old adage, "You get what you pay for" is true. Your designer gown could be a poor quality knock-off or your diamond ring could be a fake, so be sure to do your homework before commiting your hard-earned money and get an independent appraisal if necessary.

If you want to have a lovely wedding or another event, but do it frugally, there are ways to watch the costs while not compromising on taste and originality. It just takes some time and diligence to find the right items.

"After Parties" Increase in Popularity

2010-09-07T23:18:00.000-06:00

After parties have been around for years. Some are planned events occuring after a major event; others are spontaneous, spur-of-the-moment get-togethers. After parties often occur after proms and similar events, when parents host a late night get together for their child and his or her friends.

As the economy continues to make people more budget conscious, we are seeing more pre-planned parties occuring after larger weddings. Depending on circumstances, the bride and groom may feel the necessity to invite a large number of work associates, students, class mates, members of an organization or club, or their church congregation to their wedding. From an etiquette perspective, they are expected to entertain those guests, though it doesn't need to be elaborate or last several hours. Therefore, couples are choosing to have a simple reception after the ceremony (often cake and punch) followed by a much smaller after party for close family and friends. Doing so stretches limited budgets and allows the couple to spend more time with those closest to them.

To avoid hurt feelings, the after party should not be hosted by the couple, but by parents or close family and friends. The party should not occur in the same location as the large reception, though it might be held in a nearby room. Often a meal is served at the after party and dancing may occur. If the couple cut a cake at the "official" reception, a second cake is not usually served. Likewise, if toasts were offered at the first party, they are rarely offered a second time, nor is a bouquet or garter tossed a second time. The "traditional" wedding activities should occur at the "official" reception.

Having a pre-planned after party following the wedding reception is one way to stretch limited budgets; just be careful not to offend those who are not invited.

Banff Weddings

2010-08-28T12:49:00.001-06:00

I just returned from spending several days in beautiful Banff, Alberta, Canada. The mountains were awe inspiring and we even had a dusting of snow one night, adding to the beauty. Banff has grown into a bustling resort town since my last visit about 16 years ago. Hundreds of tourists filled the streets from early morning until late at night.

On a Friday we visited the historic Fairmont Banff Springs Hotel, situated on a knoll overlooking the Bow River valley. The staff was setting up for two weddings, a wedding reception, and a rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. Only one wedding was planned for Saturday; the other events were all occurring on Friday. Guests were arriving for all the events, keeping the front desk and the porters busy figuring out who was with which group. To add to the mayhem, Banff was blanketed in smoke from over 300 fires burning in British Columbia. Events planned for the terraces overlooking the river had to be moved inside, necessitating the closure of dining rooms to the general public and resulting in some unhappiness on the part of brides, grooms, and parents, who had paid extra for the outdoor locations.

It was interesting to be an observer and see how weddings occur in a major resort community. I applaude the hotel staff, who do this nearly every weekend.

So You Want to be an Event Planner

2010-08-10T19:30:00.003-06:00

I receive several e-mails and phone calls each month from people asking for information on how to become an event planner. As I talk with them, most have no idea of the work involved or how to get started. Thanks to Hollywood, people have a twisted view of the business, thinking it is all glamour and partying and they will make bushels of money. Nothing could be further from the truth.

The turn-over rate in the industry nationally is about two years, largely because people have unrealistic expectations going into the business. Event planning is hard work. You have to be very detail oriented, able to solve problems and make decisions in a moment, able to work with all types of personalities, and be able to work on your feet for 8 or 10 hours at a time. You aren't there to party. Rather, you will be in the background making sure everything is going smoothly. You may be doing the grunt work - emptying trash, sweeping, mopping, setting up and tearing down tables and chairs and anything else necessary to make the client successful.

An event planner needs to have a supportive family. Most events occur on weekends or in the evening. Client meetings occur when the client is not working, often in the evening or on a Saturday morning before you head out to that day's event. You and your client may have meetings with vendors in the evening. If your spouse is not willing to care for the children and to spend his/her weekends alone, you will hear complaints which may lead you to find a less demanding job.

You won't get rich planning events. We are a luxury. When the economy tanks, the luxuries are often the first things to be eliminated from the budget. I have been fortunate, through years of hard work, to position my business as one that can help people make the best decisions for their budget. Therefore, a down economy causes people to realize they need the expertise of an experienced planner who knows the local market and can help them use their limited funds wisely. It takes years, not months, to develop that kind of reputation.

Planning events is only one aspect of the business. A business can't function without attention to mundane details like marketing, finance and bookkeeping. If you don't understand the business side of your business, you may need to hire someone to help you and that can get expensive. You will wear many hats and you need to understand them all and be able to juggle them all while still keeping your clients happy. One of the complaints I hear most often is that the phone isn't ringing, but it can't ring if people don't know about your business. Event planning is one of those businesses with few regular repeat clients; you are constantly searching for new ones and that takes time and money. This is not a business you can start on a few hundred dollars and expect to be successful.

You can learn to become an event planner by taking courses on-line and at a few community colleges, but they don't prepare you for the real world working with a wide variety of sometimes demanding people in emotionally charged situations. Prospective clients want to know about your experience; they don't care about a diploma hanging on the wall. You can gain practical experience by volunteering at your church or with a non-profit organization, but it takes time. You won't be able to obtain experience by shadowing a planner in your community, however; it just isn't done unless you are willing to sign a non-compete agreement, which may not be in your best interest.

Becoming an event planner can be a rewarding profession if you like helping people and making them successful, but it isn't a field to be entered without doing thorough market research and without total commitment. If you expect to become rich planning events, that isn't going to happen unless you open a business in Los Angeles, New York or Las Vegas, where the competition is fierce.

Don't Go Into Debt to Pay for Your Special Event

2010-08-02T15:59:00.006-06:00

It costs money to plan and execute a special event, whether it is a family reunion, your parent's 50th anniversary party, a wedding or another special event. It is easy to put the costs on a credit card but not so easy to pay for the event for months or even years after it has occurred. With a bit of preplanning, you can prevent that from happening.

When you decide to hold a special event, the first thing to do is make a realistic budget of what you can afford, then decide which things are most important. Maybe you want a great location, so, to afford it, you are willing to compromise on the type of food served. Or perhaps a DJ is okay rather than a band. If you will be sharing the costs with others, perhaps siblings or extended family members, you will need to decide how to divide the costs. Will everyone contribute equally or will certain costs, such as the food or the facility rental, be paid by certain people. If family members will be sharing the costs, you may want to open a bank account just for the event. That will keep you from over spending; when the account is empty, the spending stops.

Don't allow anyone, including the guest of honor, to pressure you into making decisions you are not comfortable making, particularly if you may end up footing the bill. You don't have to serve filet mignon and imported wine if you can afford only chicken and soft drinks. It's okay, and your guests won't care. Don't allow anyone to make last minute changes without your permission. Too many fingers in the pie can create unpleasant surprises. If you are the one working with the event planner, let her/him know that you expect to approve all costs and any changes. If Aunt Martha wants to substitute an expensive dessert for the one on the menu, then she should be prepared to pay the additional cost.

Weddings tend to be big budget breakers, particularly if the bride (or her mother) is living out a fantasy and she wants it all. It may be necessary to show some tough love and hold firm on what can and cannot be accommodated. For instance, it isn't necessary to hold a shower at a restaurant with a cost of more than a thousand dollars when an informal shower at a home, church or club house will be just as much fun. It isn't necessary to have the bachelorette party at a resort or pay $5,000 for a designer gown if a similar, but more affordable, gown is available. You get the idea.

The two areas where you will want to spend your money are on photography and the services of a good event planner. When the event is over, you will have your photos and your memories, so don't skimp on photography. A good event planner can be worth her weight in gold. She will know the venues that offer the best deals and service; she will know the right merchants to provide the food, flowers, and other services you want at the most reasonable price. Plus, the stress she saves you is priceless.

By creating a realistic budget and sticking to it, you will be able to look back on your special event knowing you had a wonderful time and you won't have a stack of bills to prove it.

Idaho Environmental Forum Plans Annual Boise River Conference

2010-07-25T16:33:00.002-06:00

The Idaho Environmental Forum will host their 7th annual Boise River Conference on August 11th. The event begins with an afternoon conference on Boise River and Treasure Valley water issues at the Barber Park Education and Event Center. An evening float trip on the Boise River will follow. The evening will culminate with a barbeque at Ann Morrison Park. The conference is open to IEF members and friends. Registration is required.

Anyone interested in protecting our Idaho environment is welcome to join IEF. The group is an informal educational organization dedicated to understanding the environmental issues facing our state and seeking ways to work toward solving some of those issues. Luncheon meetings are held monthly. There is no fee to join. For information, visit http://www.idahoenvironmentalforum.org/index.html.

Idaho Business Review to Publish Event Planning Insert

2010-07-20T17:46:00.004-06:00

In August the Idaho Business Review will publish an insert to their paper on event planning. The insert will contain a variety of articles and a list of the top local caterers, meeting facilities, event planners, and rental companies. The purpose of the insert is to help corporate planners find the resources they need to plan their holiday parties, if they have not yet made those arrangements. IBR publishes the list of top merchants every year, but this is the first time they have devoted an entire section to event planning.

Last week I gave an interview to one writer for his article. Tomorrow I meet with another writer who is working on two articles. A client and I will also have the opportunity to participate in a photo shoot at a rental center to illustrate one of the articles. It is a privilege to share with the IBR staff so they in turn can share with our community and allow businesses to learn about the wide variety of resources available to create unique events for their clients and employees.

Idaho Marriage License Variations

2010-07-07T14:37:00.006-06:00

In May I planned and coordinated a wedding for a couple from Washington. They got married in Nampa, so they obtained their marriage license in Canyon County. Now, because they live out of state, they are having difficulty obtaining a certified copy of the license so the bride can change her name. Because of their problem, I checked the requirements in Ada County and nearby counties where we most often hold weddings to learn about their requirements and hopefully alleviate future problems.

Marriage licenses can be obtained at any county courthouse in Idaho and can be used anywhere in the state within one year of the issue date. Blood tests are not required and the license can be used immediately. Applicants must be 18 or older to marry without parental approval.

In Ada County, a license costs $30 cash. Approximately three weeks after the wedding the couple will receive a certified copy in the mail. The bride can then take it to the nearest Social Security office to legally change her name. She must also present the certified copy when applying for a new driver's license. She cannot use the copy of the license given to the couple at the time of the wedding, which has not been certified by the county. Counties certify the license after they receive the original signed by the wedding officiant. That original copy is then sent to the state Bureau of Vital Records and becomes part of the Bureau's permanent records.

In Canyon, Gem, and Washington Counties the license fee is $28 cash. If the couple wants a certified copy, they must pay an additional $3 and they, or a representative, must pick up the copy after the wedding. It will not be mailed.

Elmore County, perhaps because of the large military population, has slightly different requirements. Again, the fee is $28 cash and a certified copy costs extra. This is the only county I found that requires the couple to provide their Social Security numbers. If either or both have been divorced, they must provide the exact date the divorce was final and where it was obtained.

Valley County, which includes McCall and Cascade, charges $30 cash or in-state check and they mail the couple a certified copy of the license. Divorced persons must provide the date the divorce was final and widows and widowers must provide the date of their spouse's death.

Marriage license requirements in Oregon are more complex than in Idaho. Again, the license can be obtained and used anywhere in the state. There is a 3 day waiting period before the license can be used and it must be used within 60 days of issue, which creates a problem for couples coming from out of state and who may not plan to arrive until a day or two before the wedding. The fee is $60 cash or money order.

When planning your wedding, be sure to allow time to obtain your license and, if you live out of state or in another part of the state and are marrying in southwestern Idaho, you may want to get it in Ada County so you will automatically receive a certified copy by mail without the hassle of having to send someone to purchase a copy.

Permit Now Required for Tented Events in Boise

2010-06-30T18:25:00.001-06:00

If you are planning an event to be held at the Boise Depot, Idaho Botanical Gardens, a city park, and certain other locations and you plan to use a canopy or tent, you will now have to purchase a permit. The requirement has been on the books for several years, but has been enforced only for public events. Now, however, the fire marshall is requiring anyone holding a private event who plans to place a canopy or tent in a publicly owned space to purchase a permit (one more way to add funds to the City's coffers?). A permit is not required to erect small canopies less than 400 square feet (20x20) and tents less than 100 square feet (10x10).

Permits are purchased from the City Clerk's office at 333 N. Sailfish, Boise 83704 and cost $90. The person I spoke with, who was new to her job, was unsure whether a permit is needed for each tent or canopy or whether one permit will cover multiple tents/canopies.

The process works like this:

1. A permit is applied for (you can apply in person or print the form from the Web site listed below and mail it in with payment). You will need to know the size of the tent/canopy you plan to erect and exactly where it will be placed (you can't change your mind later and place it in another location).

2. The fire marshall will visit the site and then let you know whether or not you have permission to erect the tent/canopy of the size you want and in the location you want.

3. You then give the permit to the rental center from whom you will rent the tent/canopy.

4. The rental center employees arrive on-site and call the fire marshall, who supervises the set-up.

Local rental centers recommend that you allow them to apply for the permit for you. They know the requirements and they may order several permits at one time for several clients. You can tell them where you want the tent placed (most rental centers have worked at all the public locations in Boise) and they will work out the details with the fire marshall at the time the tent is erected, saving you one less hassle.

For more information on the new requirements, visit www.cityofboise.org/departments/fire/FAQ/page17967.aspx#18033

Another One Bites the Dust

2010-06-20T19:26:00.003-06:00

Last week the Powerhouse Event Center announced their closure after ten years in business. A couple of weeks before that a venue in McCall closed and another McCall venue announced foreclosure proceedings. The Powerhouse is the latest in a series of local businesses to fall victim to the economy. In addition to the economy, the owners cited increased competition from several sources as a primary reason for the closure, though all the sources they mentioned, except one, were in business before the Powerhouse and continue to thrive.

Historically, economic downturns refine the market, allowing stronger businesses to survive and weeding out the weaker ones. In the last several months we have seen florists, caterers, photographers and other event-related businesses close their doors. Some were financially over-extended; others failed to understand the importance of customer service in a down economy (and any economy for that matter). Others were still trying to find their niche in the market and just couldn't hold on.

We as consumers can help our local businesses in these challenging times by choosing to buy locally and by rewarding excellent customer service when we experience it. Eventually the economy will improve, bringing more clients and money to event-related businesses. We will again see more formal events and fewer pot lucks, more company picnics and holiday parties, more training meetings and conferences, but it will take time. Hang in there.

Tuxedo Issues

2010-06-07T19:46:00.001-06:00

Problems with tuxedos seem to be one of the most frequent issues we encounter when planning a special event. We rent tuxedos for proms, weddings, quinceaneras, formal parties and other events. When a tux is rented, it usually needs alterations. When it is returned, it has to be cleaned. Both put wear and tear on the tux, shortening its lifespan and sometimes affecting how it looks. Because of the constant turn-around from one renter to another, things happen, sometimes creating a minor crisis.

At a wedding last week we had more problems than usual. When the groom's father, who performed the ceremony, dressed, he found that a side seam in the pants had been unstitched, presumably for alterations, and had not been restitched. He wore the pants with safety pins holding the seam together. Fortunately, enough pins were available to make an emergency repair and the jacket covered most of the problem area and kept his "unmentionables" from showing.

When the best man took his clothing out of the bag provided by the tux shop, he found that he had no jacket. A quick call to the shop revealed that the jacket was there, but the shop had not notified anyone when they discovered they had it and they did not offer to have someone deliver it to the church, though it was their mistake. We had to pay someone to go get it and delay the men's photos for nearly an hour.

It is not unusual to pick up tuxedos and find the legs or sleeves too short (rarely are they too long), vests in the wrong size or color, buttons falling off, and other issues. I can't count the number of tuxedo buttons I have sewn on, sometimes having to take a button from a sleeve to replace one on the coat front.

Unfortunately, in southern Idaho we don't have one tux shop that is outstandingly better than others. Customer service seems to vary from visit to visit at most shops, sometimes very good, other times minimal at best. The problems with poor fit and missing items occur across the board as well.

Since the shops are not particularly concerned about quality control or customer service, what can we, the renters, do to help alleviate the situation? First, don't wait until the last minute to choose your tuxedo style or to have your groomsmen, fathers, and others measured. If the store has the necessary information in a timely manner, they can begin alterations sooner and not be rushed.

If you are not comfortable with the service you receive when you make your initial visit, take your business elsewhere. Loss of business speaks volumes. When my son married a few years ago, we waited for over a half hour at one shop and were not even greeted by the employees. They were busy, but one of them could have taken the time to briefly acknowledge our presence. When they didn't, we went elsewhere. Again, the shop was busy, but the staff was friendly and suggested we look at styles until they could help us. You can guess which shop I recommended to my clients until it closed.

When you pick up your tuxes, take time to inspect each bag to be certain it contains everything it should - usually a jacket, pants, shirt, tie, vest, shoes, a pocket square (the decorative handkerchief that goes in the lapel pocket), and cuff links. It is also a good idea to try on the jacket, and possibly the pants as well, before taking the items from the store.

You can help the shop by returning the tuxes on time with all items in the appropriate individual bags. That will allow time for cleaning and alterations before the next person rents them. If you get stains on any of the items, be sure to let the staff know so they can treat the stain appropriately. If you don't tell them and the stain can't be removed, you may have to pay for the damaged item.

You can help the store manager by letting him/her know about problems you encounter. They may be unaware that their alterations person is doing a poor job or that their staff is not inspecting each bag before giving it out.

By working together and everyone doing their part, we can improve the quality of service offered by our local tuxedo shops and reduce the frustration of those who rent and wear the tuxes.

Planning a Vow Renewal Ceremony

2010-05-26T15:55:00.003-06:00

In the last couple of years a number of couples married quickly because of military deployment of the bride or groom. Now, they want to have a vow renewal ceremony to celebrate with family and friends or they want to solemnize their vows in their church. Older couples are choosing to renew their vows on or near their anniversary or at another special time when family can be together. Planning a vow renewal ceremony is not the same as planning a wedding and that can create confusion, particularly for younger couples planning a church ceremony. Though some aspects are similar - repeating vows and a reception to follow - most aspects are somewhat different.

Vow renewal ceremonies are usually more casual than weddings and often are attended by fewer guests than a typical wedding. The couple, not their parents, usually pays for the event. Depending on the situation and budget, the ceremony might occur in a church or it might occur at a family picnic, a park, or any setting of the couple's choosing. The couple should entertain their guests in some way after the ceremony, but the reception doesn't need to be elaborate. If a formal dinner and dancing is not your cup of tea, you might have a picnic, a barbeque or a dessert reception.

Because the couple are not a bride and groom, they do not have bridesmaids and groomsmen, though they may have witnesses stand with them. If the couple has been married for a number of years and has children, the children might serve as witnesses or they might escort their mom down the aisle. If members of the original wedding party will attend, they might be asked to again stand with the couple.

A vow renewal ceremony is not a legal proceeding, so a marriage license isn't needed. Anyone can perform the ceremony, perhaps a father, grandfather, adult child or a friend. Wedding vows can be altered to reflect the couple's desire to continue to love and cherish one another or the couple can write their own vows. If they have recently been through a crisis in their lives, the vows might reflect that. Rings are exchanged only if the wife will receive a new ring or an anniversary ring. Alternatively, the couple might ask the officiant to bless their rings by placing his/her hand over the couple's hands and praying for them.

Depending on the formality of the event, the wife might wear a dress, evening gown, cocktail dress, or slacks in any color she prefers, including white. The husband might wear a suit or a shirt and tie. If the actual wedding occurred recently, the bride might wear her wedding gown if it isn't too elaborate. Otherwise, she should avoid wearing a typical wedding dress. She would not wear a veil. The wife doesn't need to carry a bouquet. Rather, she might wear a corsage and the husband a boutonierre.

Guests don't usually bring gifts to a vow renewal ceremony and there are no showers or gift registries. The couple might cut a cake at the reception, perhaps a replica of their original wedding cake. Toasts are appropriate and the couple might have a first dance, but there is no bouquet or garter toss.

Planning a vow renewal ceremony is a good way to reaffirm your love before family and friends. The decisions surrounding the event should reflect your current position in life; you can't go back and be a bride again, but you can look forward to many happy years together.

New Trend: Grandparents Showers

2010-05-15T10:17:00.007-06:00

Do you have friends who will become grandparents for the first time, who live near the happy parents and who will most likely care for the baby regularly? If so, you may want to have a grandparent's shower for them. This new trend offers an opportunity to share the joy of the new baby, not just with the parents, but with the extended family as well.

Parents usually receive or purchase everything they need for baby. But when baby goes to Grandma and Grandpa's house, they often have to make due with whatever they have on hand. Outfitting the grandparent's spare room can make baby's visits more enjoyable and Mom and Dad won't need to bring everything with them each time baby visits. Plus, the grandparents will be delighted to be the recipients of a shower.

If you would like to host a grandparent's shower, you might do it as a surprise and obtain gift ideas from the mother-to-be. Or, if you prefer to tell the honorees of your plan, they may have their own gift ideas based on what has already been purchased or borrowed. Gift ideas include:

blankets
bibs
feeding dish and utensils
sippy cups
burp cloths
high chair
pack-and-play or a similar small bed
umbrella stroller
car seat
small toys
pacifiers
disposable diapers and wipes

Mom and Dad can supply changes of clothing as needed, since babies grow so quickly.

Should grandparents register for gifts before a shower? Most etiquette experts agree they should not. Registries should remain an option only for the parents. Rather than compete with the parents-to-be, a grandparent's shower should be a casual affair with the guest list limited to a select group of the grandparent's friends. Be careful about inviting people to a grandparent's shower who have also been invited to a shower for the mom-to-be. You don't want them to feel overwhelmed.

Having a shower for the new grandparents is one way to show your enthusiasm and support for their new role and to help them step into it fully prepared.

Including Sparklers in Your Event

2010-05-05T20:12:00.007-06:00

As we gear up for summer events, people begin thinking of things they can add to make their event unique. One of those things is sparklers. Originally available only near the 4th of July, sparklers can now be purchased year round from numerous web sites. Children love them and brides and grooms are increasingly including them in their wedding reception, but sparklers can be dangerous. You are literally playing with fire.

If you decide to use sparklers at your event, first check with your venue to be certain they are allowed. Sparklers should be used outdoors only and not close to dry grass or any other substance that might burn. They can leave dark stains on concrete walkways and driveways, so, if possible, use them on grass, gravel or asphalt. If children will be playing with the sparklers, be sure they have adult supervision.

If you plan to use sparklers at a wedding, choose ones at least 14 inches long. If you use shorter ones, by the time the last sparkler is lit, the first ones will have burned out. If the bride and groom will walk through a tunnel of guests, be certain the tunnel is at least 6 feet or more wide and guests are standing about 3 feet apart. You don't want to risk catching the bride's veil on fire or burning a hole in her gown or someone's clothing from a flying spark.

Once guests are lined up, the wedding coordinator and perhaps a second person can begin lighting the sparklers. For safety, use a long handled butane lighter and light the tip of the sparkler, not the center or end. Never attempt to light more than one sparkler at a time. Lighting a bundle of them can cause a small explosion and someone could get burned. When lighting, hold the sparkler at a horizontal angle or with the tip pointed slightly downward. Be certain to have a bucket of water or sand nearby in which to place the used sparklers and never touch the wire rod while it is hot.

If you want to create a unique ending to your reception, but you are concerned about safety, you might give each guest a glow stick or a popper instead of using sparklers. Guests can form a tunnel for the departing couple and either wave their sticks or pull the poppers as the couple walks through. Your exit will be just as special, and much safer.

(photo courtesy of Greg Hoskins Photography)

Silent Auctions to Fund Non-profit Events

2010-04-25T09:17:00.000-06:00

Does your non-profit, school or church need funding for a special event or activity? Have you held a silent auction in the past but found it time consuming to pick up the donations and, after all your work, the auction response was limited? If so, you might want to try AuctionFrogs.org. This on-line site allows you to create a cyber silent auction in connection with your special event or to raise funds before your event or for a special project without an associated event.

By using this site, merchants who donate goods can keep the goods and then deliver them directly to the winner, eliminating time and storage space for the organization holding the auction. Cyber auctions also make your fund raiser available to a much wider range of viewers. You can contact friends and business associates around the world and ask them to support your event by placing a bid on-line.

Auctionfrogs is the brain child of a Treasure Valley woman, so when you use it, you support both a local business and a woman-owned business. For information on how your organization might benefit from this new technology, visit http://www.auctionfrogs.org/. While there, check out the auctions currently in progress and help a fellow non-profit. You will be glad you did.

The Role of Grooms and Dads in Wedding Planning

2010-04-12T09:43:00.002-06:00

I was interviewed by a reporter for the New York Times for an article that appeared on April 4 about the role of the groom and his family in wedding planning. Perhaps it is more common out West, but most of my grooms are involved in the wedding planning process and have been for over ten years. In many cases the couple are professionals in their late twenties or their thirties when they marry. They make all the decisions together, and often they pay for the wedding themselves with little or no help from either of their families.

The reporter was surprised when I mentioned the increasing involvement of fathers of the bride in the planning. Again, that has been occurring for the last eight or ten years. The fathers seem to be particularly interested in choosing the location/locations and the catering. Sometimes they attend a few of our meetings with merchants. In other cases, they attend them all.

The increasing involvement of grooms and dads reflects the trend for both families and the bride and groom to all pay for the wedding. For the article, the reporter contacted the president of the Association of Bridal Consultants, an organization that conducts surveys on various aspects of wedding planning. According to him, only about 10 percent of today's weddings are paid for by the bride's family. That is down from 27 percent in 2003. In the majority of weddings, both sets of parents and the bride and groom all contribute to the costs, though not usually in equal amounts.

The reporter asked about the role of the mother of the groom in wedding planning. Obviously, if she is helping finance the wedding, she should be included in decision making. If she is not helping with the costs, the bride may still want to invite her to participate, assuming that the mom is not one who will try to dominate or control. Including the groom's mother can be a bonding experience for the bride and her future MIL and for the two mothers.

The times are changing and the way weddings are planned is changing, so that all the important people are involved, making a wedding a true joining of families, not just of two people.

Bouquet Toss Causes Plane Crash

2010-04-02T16:33:00.001-06:00

The bride wanted to do something unique at her wedding reception so she decided to have the bouquet toss occur from an airplane. The couple rented a small Autogiro to fly over the reception at a particular time with a friend in the passenger seat to toss the bouquet to a group of single women waiting below. (An Autogiro is a Spanish-designed rotary-wing aircraft that uses a propeller for forward motion and a rotating, unmotorized rotor on top for lift. The plane looks much like a cross between a small two-passenger aircraft and a helicopter.)

As the passenger tossed the bouquet, wind pressure caused it to fly backwards into the tail rotor, causing the plane's engine to catch fire and explode and the plane to crash. As the horrified wedding guests watched, the plane crashed into woods near a youth hostel where 50 children were staying. Both the pilot and the passenger survived, but the bouquet tossing passenger suffered facial and head injuries and two broken legs.

Moral of the story - be careful about including activities in your event that could in any way be dangerous. The bride, her friend, and the pilot probably never considered that the bouquet wouldn't drop straight down. What was intended to be a unique ending to the reception may cost the couple thousands when all the damage and medical bills are totalled.

Couple Weds on the Moon

2010-03-25T13:30:00.000-06:00

She wanted a wedding that would be out of this world, but the couple was on a tight budget and the moon is over 238,000 miles away. So, the couple chose the best alternative and got married in the moonscape exhibit at Clark Planetarium in Salt Lake City. The couple and the minister stood in the barren Taurus-Littrow Valley, where the Apollo 17 astronauts landed in December 1972. The wedding party stood on Mars, another exhibit a few feet away. This was the Planetarium's first moon wedding, but it probably won't be the last.

Which State has the Best Wedding Weather?

2010-03-17T18:19:00.001-06:00

Farmers Almanac has been around for many, many years. As the name suggests, the book was originally written to assist farmers with planting and harvesting. Want to know when the moon will be full? Consult the Almanac. Want to know the best days to cut and bale hay? Consult the Almanac. Today, however, the Almanac has diversified to include all types of weather forecasting and everything weather-related.

A few months ago the Almanac ran a contest to determine the states having the best and worst weather for outdoor weddings. The results were all in fun and based on entries from the public, not on any scientific data. And the winners are ---- South Carolina, Arizona, Oregon, Utah, and North Dakota, assuming you don't mind the humidity in some of those locations. Texas was the big loser. Readers' stories included tales of freezing rain in April, flash floods, and miserably hot temperatures. No one from Idaho entered the contest. If they had, readers might have heard about rain, hot summer days, and our unpredictable spring weather with microbursts and other phenomena to liven up outdoor events.

So many people visit Farmers Almanac's web site to check long-range forecasts for their weddings that the site now has a section devoted exclusively to weddings at www.almanac.com/wedding-planning. The site can tell you the best dates to plan a beach wedding, when the fall leaves will be at their most colorful, when the best sunsets will occur, and other information. How accurate the predicitions are is anyone's guess, but the site is worth a read.

Party Crasher is Actually a Thief

2010-03-04T11:31:00.003-07:00

She came without an invitation; she left with cards containing cash, checks and gift cards. A Spokane, WA woman has been sentenced to 45 days in jail for felony grand theft for stealing gift cards and personal checks at a wedding in Lewiston, Idaho last summer. The theft was discovered when the couple opened gifts with family and friends, some of whom realized that their card and its contents was missing. Fortunately, one family member is a police officer and remembered seeing the woman, a former high school classmate, at the reception. He knew she was not an acquaintance of the bride or groom and she acted nervous when he talked with her and she left soon after.

Family and friends gave police information about the stolen gift cards and stores were alerted to watch for them. Soon, Macys, Home Depot, Costco and other businesses reported a woman of the same description using the cards. In some instances, she produced a driver's license for identification. Gift cards purchased by credit card could be traced to the original purchasers, who verified the intended recipient of the cards, which was not the person using them.

In the course of the investigation, police discovered the woman used more gift cards than those reported stolen in Lewiston. She is currently under investigation for stealing cards at an event held at Gonzaga University in Spokane, and possibly other events as well, and additional charges may be filed.

So what can we learn from this? First, be very careful about gifts in general and particularly about cards at any public event. Don't place cards in a basket or similar open container. Rather, use a box with a slit in the top or another container that is more difficult to conceal. The event planner or a family member should remove the card box to a safe place as soon as most of the guests have arrived and the party gets started. The box can be locked in a car or taken to a hotel room or another location not accessible to the public. And ask someone keep an eye on wrapped gifts as well.

Second, theft can occur at any event and any location. The thief may not be a party crashing stranger. He/she could be working for the caterer, the event center, or another service provider who is authorized to be at the event. A few years ago here in Boise a DJ was implicated in the theft of cards from events held at a local golf club.

Lastly, if you purchase a gift card, use a credit card. That way, the gift card can be traced if it is stolen. Unfortunately, if you give cash or purchase a gift card using cash, your gift will be gone forever.

It is unfortunate that unscrupulous people can ruin even the most joyous occasion, so be careful with all your possessions, old and new. Don't create a temptation for anyone.

Virtual Meetings - Here to Stay?

2010-02-26T19:22:00.004-07:00

I've been hired to manage the local portion of a national training meeting. The meeting will be broadcast simultaneously to over 70 cities where business managers and invited guests of a national company will gather at local movie theaters. Renting the theaters and hiring local event planners to oversee the meetings will cost plenty, but not nearly as much as flying several hundred attendees to a central location and paying for their food and lodging. This method is also much faster and more efficient than sending one or two trainers around the country to hold meetings at individual or regional sites. The virtual meetings will allow a new product and its marketing campaign to be rolled out to the entire company at once.

Through the use of technology, my daughter-in-law, who lives in Scotland, is able to telecommunte to her employer in Wisconsin. Granted, with the time difference, there are challenges. To include her in staff meetings via Skype, the meetings must be held in the morning in Wisconsin, which is late afternoon/early evening inScotland. So far, the arrangement is working well for everyone and Skype is free, which is a huge benefit for all involved.

Are virtual meetings the wave of the future? Will they, or can they, replace face-to-face meetings? With rapid advancements in technology, it is becoming increasingly easy to hold meetings just about anywhere in the world. The technology isn't always inexpensive, however. Holding a multi-day virtual meeting for a handful of attendees may cost as much or more than bringing them together at a central location.

Virtual meetings may also lack the interaction possible in a live meeting. In many cases, particularly large meetings, the attendees watch while the speaker lectures. There may be little opportunity to ask questions or participate in interactive hands-on activities. Attendees may become bored, particularly if the meeting is long. The speaker may not be able to see non-verbal cues, such as facial expressions and body language, to help gauge comprehension and interest. If the meeting is a Web cast, viewers may be watching alone at their desks, creating a feeling of isolation and reducing comprehension.

We humans are social creatures. We like face-to-face meetings not only for the information imparted, but for the opportunity to interact with colleagues, to network with new acquaintances, and catch up with old friends. Considerable business occurs before and after a live meeting that cannot always be duplicated at a virtual meeting.

One distinct advantage to virtual meetings is their positive effect on the environment, particularly on fuel used to fly or drive to meetings. Virtual meetings may use less paper and the waste associated with breaks and lunches is reduced or eliminated. Virtual meetings also increase productivity by eliminating the time spent traveling to and from meetings.

Will virtual meetings with their cost and time savings replace face-to-face meetings? Probably not completely. Both have their place in most business situations.

Caribbean Wedding or Honeymoon?

2010-02-10T19:46:00.001-07:00

I've recently returned from a week in the Caribbean. What a beautiful place! The water is turquoise; the beaches are fine, white sand. The palm trees are lovely. The temperature was mild and the water warm in early February. Most of the people were friendly and welcoming.

If you are considering a destination wedding, you may want to think about having it at one of the many island resorts or hotels. Many offer all-inclusive packages that include the ceremony and a photographer plus a small reception for you and your guests.

The Caribbean would also be a nice honeymoon destination, particularly if you like to snorkle or scuba dive. We particularly enjoyed Grand Cayman with its mix of tropical and European influences. It is a coral island, so the diving is excellent. Plus, there is the romance of the history of pirates on nearly every street corner.

Shopping for your Wedding Gown

2010-01-21T16:45:00.005-07:00

The area's largest wedding show, attended by over 800 brides, occurred two weeks ago. Many of the brides became engaged during the holidays and one of the first things they will do is begin shopping for that special wedding gown. Choosing just the right gown can be fun or it can be stressful, depending on how it is approached. The following tips will help make the most of the experience without causing the bride to feel overwhelmed.

Begin by looking through magazines and at web sites to get ideas of styles and to decide what features you do and don’t like, but don’t zero in on a particular style until you try on a few gowns and know what looks best with your figure. You might be surprised.

Limit the number of people you take shopping with you, at least initially. Too many people create distractions, take extra time, and each has her own opinion, making decisions difficult. Though in-put from others is important, the bride should make the final decision on the gown to purchase; don’t allow anyone to pressure you to make a decision you are not comfortable making.

Some bridal salons require an appointment to be certain they have adequate staff available. If you must make an appointment, don’t feel pressured to buy until you are ready. You can always go back later.

Dress appropriately. If you have a strapless bra, take it with you. Also take shoes with a heel height similar to what you may wear on your wedding day. Most gowns can be shortened; however, having appropriate shoes will help you better visualize how you will look. Wear make-up, but not too much; you don’t want to leave stains on the gowns.

Don’t be shocked by gown sizing. Most wedding gowns are sized larger than what you normally wear. For instance, if you wear a size 10, you might need a size 12 in a gown. Because gowns are form-fitting, you should choose one to fit your largest body measurement - waist, hips or bust. It is easy to take in the dress where it is loose, but it isn’t easy to increase the size without possibly harming the design of the dress.

Expect to pay extra for things like a slip or veil, but ask about discounts if you purchase everything at once.

If your gown has to be ordered, expect to wait 3 to 4 months to get it (most are made overseas), so order it early and allow time for alterations.

Ask about alterations. Many shops charge for them, and the fee can be considerable. You may be able to find an independent seamstress or tailor who will charge less. Most alterations are done within a month of the wedding. Brides may lose or gain weight or work out, making it ncessary to repeat alterations if they are completed too far in advance.

Wedding shoes and undergarments are usually less expensive when purchased at a department store rather than at a bridal salon. The exception is slips and hoops, which tend to be available only at bridal salons. Some salons will rent them; others will not, so be sure to ask.

Check the sale racks. Many salons place last season’s gowns on sale. When it comes to wedding dresses, who cares if it was last season’s style if you love the dress.

Be careful about purchasing a gown over the internet. Before purchasing, find out the background of the shop or person offering it and ask about a return policy. Both new and used gowns are available on-line. Some new gowns come from shops that have gone out of business or those reducing inventory. Others may belong to a bride who cancelled her wedding. Used gowns often belong to someone whose marriage has ended or they are thrift shop close-outs. In most cases, you get the dress “as is,” which could mean stained or ripped. You may not be able to return the dress if there is a problem or it doesn't fit and you will probably need to find a local seamstress to do alterations.

If you are on a budget, check local consignment shops and Craig’s List for new or slightly used gowns you can try on before purchasing. Many such gowns are sold by women whose engagement was broken and they no longer want any reminder of their cancelled wedding. You may find a new gown at a very reasonable price.

Consider renting your gown. You won’t be able to pass it on to your daughter, but, assuming you have one, she may not want it anyway. Not all shops rent gowns, so check around. Popular styles need to be reserved several months in advance and you may find that you can purchase a gown on sale for the same price or less than renting one, so do your homework.

Shopping for your wedding gown can be fun or agonizing, depending on how your approach it. By taking time to prepare before shopping, you can savor the experience rather than being overwhelmed by it.

Knock Out Body Boot Camps

2010-01-17T18:38:00.001-07:00

Do you have a big event coming up and want to look sensational? If so, Knock Out Body Boot Camp may be the answer. The intense program combines fat burning exercise, nutrition counseling, meal planning help, and more to get you in shape quickly. Brides and their bridesmaids and moms can participate in a more intense Bridal Knock Out Body Boot Camp to help all of you look gorgeous in those revealing gowns. Those who follow the diet and exercise plan can expect to lose one dress size per month as you burn body fat and resculpt your figure.

To find out how you can look your best, call Brett at 208-863-8072 or send an e-mail to knockoutbodybootcamps@gmail.com. Sessions are open to both men and women and are held at various locations in the Boise area to best fit your schedule.

Memory Makers Mentioned in New Book

2010-01-08T20:02:00.001-07:00

I learned today that a story about the wildlife that occasionally makes an appearance at our Idaho weddings, and one wedding in particular that occurred a few years ago on a nasty 110 degree day at Ste. Chapelle, are included in a new book. OMG! Wedding Stories will hit bookstores in late spring and Amazon.com is taking pre-orders for it now.

The book contains funny and unusual wedding stories, many about wedding plans gone awry. If you enjoy a light read and you like everything weddings, you will enjoy this book.

30th Annual Wedding Party Show January 9 and 10

2010-01-01T10:24:00.004-07:00

If you are engaged or about to become engaged, you won't want to miss the 30th annual Wedding Party Show next weekend, January 9 and 10, at Boise Centre on the Grove. Saturday hours are 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Sunday hours are 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. The cost is $5 at the door. Over 100 merchants will be on hand to help with all your wedding planning needs.

Gift certificates valued at $1,000 will be given away after each fashion show. Shows are at noon and 3 p.m. on Saturday and at 2 p.m. on Sunday. Ten gift certificates, each valued at $100, can be redeemed with participating merchants, helping significantly reduce the costs of your wedding.

The show started thirty years ago when two local business women, one the owner of a bridal salon and the other the co-owner of a rental center, decided that Boise needed a wedding show. They pitched the idea to other business owners and the show was born. Initially it was held in the ballroom of a local hotel with about 30 merchants participating. At that time, the Treasure Valley population was around 100,000 and the show offered a new way for merchants to showcase their services to a targeted audience.

I first attended the show in 1990 when it was still being held at a hotel with about 45 participating merchants. There was little structure and the show clearly had the feel of a trade show that had just evolved, rather than being planned, with merchants using card tables set up around the room.

How times have changed! In the mid 1990s, after the opening of Boise Centre on the Grove, the show moved there. The Treasure Valley was growing and more merchants involved in special events were entering the market, making the need for more space and greater structure necessary. True to its origin, the show is still produced as a joint effort of the particpating merchants. To facilitate decision making, a board of directors was chosen and meetings of all participating merchants are held several times during the year. Booth spaces are assigned and tables, chairs, and linens are provided, giving the show a classy, uniform look.

This will be the 12th Wedding Party Show in which I have participated. Twelve years ago, about 70 merchants were involved, representing most of the special events businesses in the area. Today, the show fills the main conference room and the lobby at Boise Centre on the Grove. So many merchants want to participate that there is not enough space to accommodate them all. Until Boise has a larger venue, this will be a continuing problem.

So, grab your honey, your mom or your friends and join us for the Treasure Valley's oldest and largest wedding show. Come see the latest trends and fashions, sample cakes and catering and take advantage of show specials. You will be able to find everything you need to plan the wedding of your dreams. See you there.

January 10 update - 817 brides registered during the two days. Many, many of them are getting married June 26th. It seemed that every other person I talked with had chosen that date. Those who weren't getting married then seemed to be focusing on September. It is going to be a great year!

Gift Giving 101

2009-12-23T19:57:00.004-07:00

I answer etiquette questions on a couple of web sites. From time to time we receive questions about gifts, usually from people wanting to know how to tell their guests what to give them, but occasionally from people confused about gift giving in general. Take a look at a few recent questions (grammar and spelling are exactly as the question was submitted):

“How do we ask for no gifts because we have a small house but instead for people to bring cards and insert money into them to help us on our 2nd honeymoon cruise?”

“How much money should be given by a couple attending a Saturday evening wedding reception?”

“I have a question about a couple who eloped and after the elopement registered for gifts and had a bridal shower. Now almost two years later they are having a ceremony in the Catholic Church with a reception. They want money now from the same people who gave them wedding gifts after the elopement. Would like to know what is right.”

“My best friend was invited to my daughter’s wedding with a guest. She called me and asked me how much the meal is so she can write a check to my daughter. Is it me or is this rude?”

“What's the right wording for cash gifts in a wedding invitation?”

“Should I ask for monetary gifts?”

“When we opened our wedding gifts, we discovered that several people that attended the wedding didn’t give us a gift. Should we say something to them? How long do they have to send a gift?”

In addition to these web questions, I recently received a wedding invitation that included a card saying: “Your presence is all the gift we ask. However, for your convenience we are registered at Target, Bed Bath and Beyond and REI. Because we will be moving, we would prefer to receive gift cards or money.”

People seem to be confused about what is socially acceptable when it comes to gifts, and therefore, they make mistakes – sometimes gross mistakes - that offend family and friends. And then, there are those who just don’t care if they offend if it means getting something.

Miss Manners, Judith Martin, has been outspoken in her newspaper columns on the issue of gift giving. According to her, "... there is no tasteful way -- not even any moderately decent way -- of directing present giving when you are on the receiving end. Contrary to general belief, present giving is never required. You invite people because you want to celebrate important occasions with them, and you should seem pleasantly surprised when they give you something. To act as if it (a gift) is standard payment for the privilege of attending your event is rude-rude-rude."

As Miss Manners stated, an invitation to an event is NOT a request for gifts and the hosts should not presume that a gift will be given. Rather, an invitation is a request for family and friends to share the joy of celebrating a wedding, anniversary, birthday or another occasion. It isn’t about gifts. To make it so places the event on the level of a commercial activity.

The only event for which a gift is generally expected is a shower, since the purpose of a shower is to help the bride or new mother establish her home or nursery. Most people give a wedding gift, but it is not required if the guest is unable to provide one. Gifts are rarely given at adult birthday parties, anniversary parties and vow renewal ceremonies. Gifts are not given at engagement parties unless it is a bottle of wine, a wedding planning book for the bride, or something similar.

From an etiquette perspective, it is considered inappropriate to mention gifts of any type in an invitation, except in shower invitations issued by a third party (not the guest of honor). Including registry information is only acceptable in a shower invitation, and then only in certain parts of the country. In some places, particularly the South and East, mentioning a registry at all is unacceptable. The way to make registry information and gift preferences known is to do so verbally when asked. It is acceptable to share registry information with family and bridesmaids, so they can also provide the information when asked. It is also socially acceptable to mention registry locations on a wedding or baby web site or blog and direct guests to the site.

Asking for money or gift cards is socially acceptable only when done verbally and only when asked. Having a money tree or a wishing well at an event is a major breach of etiquette. Guests should not be expected to help finance a honeymoon or help pay for the costs of the party or wedding.

One of the questions above mentions giving a gift equal to the amount spent on the meal. That is also a breach of etiquette. Gifts are given based on the giver’s budget and how well they know the guest/guests of honor. To try to find out how much was spent per person on food is nosy. If the hosts volunteer the information in an effort to obtain gifts of equal value, their priorities are in the wrong place. Fortunately, this tacky idea has largely gone by the wayside and it was never an issue in this area.

If you are planning a special event, take time to check an etiquette book or ask an older mature friend or relative who understands the finer points of etiquette before doing something that might offend and make you look bad or greedy in the eyes of family and friends. A few minutes spent learning what is socially acceptable can prevent problems later. An event shouldn’t be about what you will get, but about enjoying time spent with family and friends.

Christmas at the White House

2009-12-14T19:40:00.005-07:00

Do you get stressed just planning one or two holiday events for family and friends? Then, be glad you don't work at the White House. According to staffers, preparing for a White House Christmas "is the single most mentally and physically challenging thing you can do." Preparations begin several months in advance. It is common for staff members to work 80 to 100 hours per week baking, cleaning, setting up, tearing down, decorating, redecorating, and attending to all the other tasks aassociated with a large party.

In the weeks leading up to Christmas President and Mrs. Obama will host 28 parties and receptions attended by as many as 50,000 people. Many of the events will occur during the week, leaving weekends free to spend with their daughters. The first family will send approximately 200,000 Christmas and Hanukkah cards.

One feature of the decorations is a gingerbread house, but not your ordinary gingerbread house. The "official" one weighs 390 pounds. A band saw was needed to cut some of the pieces. This year's dessert buffet includes cakes, brownies, over 120,000 cookies of various kinds, truffles, pie, regional specialties, and other goodies.

When you consider such a massive undertaking, preparing for one or two events for a few dozen guests seems like a slam dunk.

Planning a New Year's Eve Party?

2009-12-07T18:16:00.004-07:00

Are you thinking of having a New Year's Eve party? There's still time to invite family and friends to a casual get-together, though you may need to have it at your home, since most facilities are already booked.

A casual party might include deli trays from your favorite grocery store or Costco. Just be sure to order them ahead. Costco has tasty desserts or you might order pies from Marie Callender's or pick up cookies or brownies at your grocer's or from Pastry Perfection. Or, you can order take-out from your favorite restaurant.

Be careful about serving too much alcohol; perhaps a champagne or sparkling cider toast at midnight would be sufficient. You don't want your family and friends to greet the new year with a trip to the poky and you can be certain the police will be out in force.

If you serve only a small amount of food, you may not need seating for everyone. If you want seating, ask family members to bring folding chairs. Alternatively, you may still be able to rent chairs and tables if you are willing to pick them up.

Where will I be on New Year's Eve? At a wedding. For some couples, particularly teachers and college students, this is a great time to get married. They have time off from school for the wedding and honeymoon and many churches and other venues are already decorated, thus reducing costs.

However you decide to celebrate, plan ahead, be safe, and have a great party.

Winter Garden Aglow

2009-11-24T07:42:00.006-07:00

Its that time of year again, when the Idaho Botanical Gardens host their annual Winter Garden Aglow event. The entire garden is transformed into a wonderland with thousands of colorful lights. The event runs Thanksgiving day through Sunday, November 29, then December 4 through January 10, including Christmas and New Years Day, from 6 p.m. to 9:30 p.m. Admission is charged and hot beverages are available for purchase.

New this year, the Garden has added a party tent where wedding ceremonies and family and corporate events can be held. Though it may be too late to schedule your special event this year, the Garden would be a unique venue for your company party or your organization's holiday get-together next winter.

(Photo compliments of Idaho Botanical Gardens)

Etiquette for Office Parties

2009-11-09T11:12:00.006-07:00

The holiday season is rapidly approaching and, with it comes the annual company holiday party. Chances are you will be invited to at least one party and perhaps an additional one with your spouse or significant other. The economy has changed the way businesses hold their parties, but the etiquette issues remain the same, whether the party is a formal dinner or a potluck. You should plan to attend the party unless you have a valid reason not to; consider it a work obligation. Remember, your supervisors will be watching your behavior and that of your spouse or SO, so be careful. You want to impress, not depress.

Some businesses hold their parties immediately after work or during a long lunch break. These parties are often attended only by employees, but be sure to find out. If your spouse or SO is invited, be certain to get all the details - date, time, location, and dress code. If the meal will be a potluck, find out what you are expected to bring.

Don't bring your children unless the invitation clearly states "and family." If your children are invited, be sure they are on their best behavior and use good manners, including addressing adults as Mr. and Mrs., not by first names.

Plan to arrive on time. If the invitation lists a time range, such as 5 p.m. to 7 p.m., plan to stay at least an hour so you don't give the impression you are just popping in to fill your social obligation. Take time to mingle and speak with as many people as possible, particularly your supervisor. Plan to leave at the stated ending time; don't overstay your welcome. If no ending time is listed; take your cue from other guests. If possible, don't be the first to leave.

Both you and your spouse or SO should dress appropriately. If you are invited to dinner at a restaurant or hotel, don't show up in Levis, even if that's what you wear to work every day. Short skirts or revealing clothing are also inappropriate, as are 4" high heels if you can't gracefully walk in them.

Watch what you eat and drink. Though the food may be free, that isn't a reason to recklessly indulge. If a buffet is served, don't stack your plate; rather, leave something for those in line behind you. You can always go back. One drink may be okay, but be careful. You don't want to embarrass youself or your spouse. Remember, moderation in all things will cause you to be remembered positively, not negatively.

If dancing occurs and you don't dance, then plan to use the time to visit with fellow employees. If you like to dance, do so, but don't engage in any type of exhibitionism.

Bringing a gift for the hosts isn't expected unless the party is held at a private home. If it is, a box of candy or something similar will be appreciated. Don't bring a bottle of wine unless you know it is one the hosts enjoy. If a gift exchange will occur, find out what type of gift to bring. Some groups exchange ornaments. Others exchange white elephant gifts. Be sure your gift is appropriate, not offensive or silly.

Your company holiday party can be a time to enjoy getting to know your fellow employees and their families outside the office. It can enhance your standing in the eyes of your supervisors or tarnish it, depending on how you and your spouse or SO behave, so be careful. You want to be remembered for your graciousness, not for being the life of the party.

Planning an Event at a Private Home

2009-10-30T12:07:00.020-06:00

I just returned from looking at a home where a spring wedding will be held in the beautifully landscaped yard. Having an event at a private home may make it more personal and recall special memories, but it isn't necessarily the least expensive way to go and there can be numerous drawbacks. Before deciding to have an event at home, consider the following:

Is there enough space to accommodate the anticipated number of guests?

Is adequate parking available?

Will the noise disturb neighbors?

Will the homeowners need or want to make repairs or landscape? Some people use a special event as a catalyst to make home improvements; just don't start remodeling the kitchen 3 weeks before a major event.

Do the homeowners or neighbors have pets that might be a problem, such as an excitable dog?

Do any guests have allergies or asthma that might be triggered by plants or pets?

Is the home or yard handicapped-accessible, if necessary. Could someone in a wheel chair or using a walker get through doorways, down narrow halls, into restrooms, across the lawn, etc.?

If the event will be held in a yard, are there obstructions, such as sprinkler heads, that might cause a problem? What about insects? Is lighting adequate for evening events?

If weather is bad, sidewalks may need to be shoveled; guests may need to be met with an umbrella, and space will be needed for wet or muddy shoes and coats.

Showers: Private homes are excellent locations for bridal and baby showers, either indoors or in the yard. All you need is space for seating, food and gifts.

Rehearsal Dinners: A backyard is an excellent location for a casual rehearsal dinner. You might have a BBQ or hire a caterer. Tables, chairs, linens, dishware and other items can be rented. Just be careful of music levels and disturbing neighbors.

Family Reunions: Again, a home or yard can be an excellent location for a family reunion if you have the space. Consider setting up activities for children in an area away from the adults yet where they can play yet be supervised.

Company Picnics and Parties: A private home may be a good place to have a company party or picnic if your company has a small number of employees. If you have a swimming pool, volley ball area, or another feature, your employees may enjoy the relaxed setting.

Weddings and Receptions: Many homes can accommodate only a small ceremony in the house, but a larger one in the yard. Space will be needed for ceremony seating, guest tables, food tables, gift and guest book tables, cake or dessert table, and beverage tables. It is not necessarily less expensive to have a wedding at a home because of the cost of renting tables, chairs, linens, dishware, and other items. If weather could be a problem, it may be necessary to rent tents or canopies, as well as an item to create a focal point for the ceremony (an arch or small gazebo). Dancing can occur on a patio or deck. If that's not available, then a dance floor may need to be rented.

The homeowner should plan to mow the lawn the day before the wedding, not the day of it, so grass stains on shoes and clothing can be minimized. The lawn should not be watered within 24 hours of the wedding.

Parking may be a problem. It may be necessary to arrange for guests to park at a nearby school or church then be shuttled to the home. Blocking narrow streets can result in guests being ticketed for blocking a fire lane if a fire truck is unable to drive down the street, even if there is no emergency.

Neighbors should be informed of the event so they won't mow their lawns or engage in other noisy activities. They can be encouraged to keep dogs inside if the dogs would bark at guests.

Be careful of loud music. Many communities have noise ordinances that must be observed. Be certain your band leader or DJ is willing to cooperate.

The homeowners should decide in advance whether they want caterers using the kitchen or guests entering the house to use the bathroom. If not, porta-potties can be rented. Plan on one for every 50 guests.

If a caterer will be engaged, let them know where they will be working and where power outlets and water are located. If you don't want caterers in the house, then set up a work area in a garage. If alcohol will be served, you may be able to do it yourself, but you will reduce your liability by hiring a professional bar service or at least a professional bar tender.

Be sure to provide plenty of trash containers. You may also want to set up a recycling station with containers for glass, cans and plastic.

Clean-up: The clean-up after a home event can be huge, so don't leave it all for the homeowner. Instead, arrange for people to help with dishwashing, trash removal, stacking rented tables and chairs, and other chores. Choose someone to be in charge of removing gifts and any personal items, such as a bride or groom's clothing.

Having a special event at a private home can be more personal and relaxed, but it involves a lot of work and often more expense than having the event elsewhere, so consider your options carefully before deciding on a home event.

The Great Pumpkin Launch

2009-10-25T17:55:00.004-06:00

Do you enjoy smashing big things into tiny little pieces? If so, you would have enjoyed Canyon County Habitat for Humanity's annual Great Pumpkin Launch, held this afternoon at a farm near Nampa. Attendees could purchase tickets to launch a pumpkin from any of four cannons toward targets across a field.

In addition to the launch, food was available, both to eat on site and to take home, such as potatoes, onions, and pumpkins. A raffle of several donated items also occurred. All proceeds benefit the work of Canyon County Habitat for Humanity.

Mark your calendar for the last Sunday in October next year and plan to attend this fun event.

Local Baker Featured on Learning Channel

2009-10-10T11:32:00.002-06:00

In late September Greg Marsh, the owner of Greg Marsh Designer Cakes in Eagle, was featured on the Learning Channel's program "The Ultimate Cake Off." Greg participated in a contest to design a cake to celebrate the Peterson Automotive Museum's anniversary. Greg's completed chocolate chip espresso cake was 7.5 feet tall and included motorized parts. The cake won the contest's taste test and was runner-up as best cake. Unfortunately, TLC does not allow photos of the cake to be shared, but you can see it at http://tlc.discovery.com/tv/ultimate-cake-off/slideshows/ultimate-cakes-episode-5.html You can also find the recipe on the same site.

Congratulations to Greg and staff for a fine job!

Consign Your Event Leftovers

2009-10-01T10:12:00.007-06:00

Are your cupboards filled with vases, centerpieces, tulle, and other items left over from a recent event? Would you like to sell that bridesmaid's dress hanging in the closet, or even your wedding gown? If so, you might consider consigning the items. Be Twice Inspired Wedding Sale, LLC holds semi-annual consignment sales in Boise and Spokane. The two day sale is usually held at the Powerhouse Event Center in Boise.

The next sale is scheduled for October 16 and 17. Friday the 16th the sale begins at 5 p.m. Admission is $2.00 per person and the Powerhouse will provide hors d’oeurves and champagne while you shop. On Saturday the hours are 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. and admission is free.

If you have items to consign, visit www.betwiceinspired.com/ to register and to learn how the sale works.

Consigning your items or purchasing gently used items is a great way to earn or save money and it helps the environment as well.

New Trend: Save the Date Videos

2009-09-23T20:23:00.005-06:00

We have all received save the date cards and magnets alerting us to a future event so we can make plans to attend. Now, a recent trend is save the date videos. These short clips, usually about 60 seconds long, are similar to a TV commercial; they pack a brief story into a very limited time. The completed video can be uploaded to a personal web site, a blog, YouTube, Facebook or another social networking site, or it can be sent via e-mail or mail to family and friends, such as Grandma or Great Aunt Sally, who would never find a web posting.

Creating a video isn't cheap. If a commercial videographer is hired, the price can range from a few hundred dollars to well over a thousand, depending on where you live, the complexity of the shoot, and the video's length. If you are planning to hire a videographer for your wedding, you might check into having him/her also create a save the date video. Or, if you have a friend or relative who has a camcorder, you might ask them to help you create your own video.

A save the date video can be a fun addition to your wedding, though you may lose some privacy if the video appears on the internet, so be careful how much information you reveal.

Are Party Favors a Victim of the Economy?

2009-09-12T10:45:00.007-06:00

When the economy is booming people think nothing of spending several hundred dollars for party favors, little gifts for their guests. In the current economy when every dollar counts, omitting favors has become one way to save money without impacting the quality of an event. If you want to provide a favor, there are several creative ways to do so.

Generally, guests enjoy a consumable favor rather than something that will sit on a shelf and collect dust. Guests love candy, cookies and similar items, such as small jams, jellies, or honey. Thanks to Martha Stewart, candy tables are a popular trend. The party hosts set up a table containing several large clear glass containers, each holding a different type of candy, usually in the wedding or event colors. The candy can be purchased in the bulk foods section of most grocery stores. Small scoops, which can be purchased at a dollar store, are placed in each container. The hosts also provide clear cellophane bags and twist ties. Guests then create their own personal favor.

Another idea is to combine the favor and the centerpiece, saving money on both items. At the wedding I will coordinate today the bride is using baskets of pears for centerpieces. The pears contain tags saying, "From the perfect pair," along with the couple's names and wedding date. By the end of the evening we will have only the baskets to take home rather than 25 vases of flowers.

If you are on a tight budget, don't feel obligated to provide a favor for your party guests. If you want to provide one, consider doing something creative rather than something expensive.

Change the Look of Your Venue with Lighting

2009-08-31T13:10:00.006-06:00

I recently coordinated an event for lawyers from San Francisco who chose the ballroom of a local hotel for their event. As you are probably aware, most hotel ballrooms look somewhat alike - same nondescript beige or light brown walls, airwall tracks in the ceiling and air walls pushed against the end walls. Some of the better hotels try to improve the look by installing decorative light fixtures, which help to lessen the "conference room" look, but can't disguise it entirely.

For this event, the clients chose to use decorative lighting to totally change the look of the room, as seen in the photo (compliments of Tana Photography). Columns of purple light shined upward, against the walls, creating a deep purple glow close to the floor and suffusing the room with a soft lavender glow. The room looked elegant and inviting.

You can use lighting in various ways to add to the ambiance of your event, wherever it is held. Though lighting an entire room can be expensive, there are ways to minimize cost, such as using only a few strategically located spot lights shining upward from behind a screen or curtain or focused on an architectural feature. Most any color can be used, though some are more flattering and inviting than others. Colors such as blue tend to make a room look cold, while red adds energy and keeps people moving.

Currently, only two merchants in the Boise area offer colored theatrical event lighting, though that is sure to change as the popularity of the lights catches on. Plain spot lights good for accent lighting are available from rental centers.

If you want to do something to set your event apart from the ordinary, consider adding special lighting.

Planning a Quinceanera

2009-08-21T15:19:00.004-06:00

Many quinceaneras are held in southern Idaho each year. Like a Bat Mitzva in the Jewish culture, the party celebrates the transition from childhood to adulthood for Hispanic young women. The party is held on or near the young woman's 15th (quince) birthday. The event often includes a celebratory Mass followed by a reception for several hundred guests. The size and elaborateness of the party depends on the honoree's preferences and her family's budget. It is often larger and more complex than her wedding will be one day.

Planning usually begins a year in advance and will include the honoree's personal preparation for the religious Mass, choosing a location for the party, selecting sponsors and members of the court of honor, as well as choosing and booking vendors. Sponsors are adults who are close to the honoree and who are willing to help finance the festivities. They may include aunts and uncles, godparents, and close family friends. Sponsors should be invited to participate when the initial planning begins. If they agree to help, each sponsor will tell the honoree and her family how much they can afford to contribute or they might choose to pay for a certain item, such as the music or food. There is no minimum number of sponsors. Rather, it depends on how many adults are close to the honoree and her family.

The court of honor consists of attendants (teen-aged family members and/or close friends) who will support the honoree throughout her special day. Often 14 young women and 14 young men, one for each previous year of her life, are invited to participate, though it is acceptable to have only female or only male attendants, depending on circumstances. The young women, called "damas," wear gowns similar to prom dresses and carry flowers.

The day begins with a special celebratory Mass, usually held at the honoree's parish church. Guests then progress to the reception location where a band or DJ will be playing. Food is served and the honoree cuts a special cake. The honoree will have a special dance with her father and perhaps with grandfathers followed by dancing for all the guests.

A tradition called "changing of the shoes" may occur. The honoree arrives wearing flat shoes, symbolizing childhood. Her father then brings her a pair of high heels and helps her change into them, signifying the transition from childhood to adulthood. Another tradition involves the presentation of a doll to a younger sister, if the honoree has a younger sister. The passing of the doll symbolizes putting away childhood pleasures and accepting her role as an adult.

A quinceanera is a once-in-a-lifetime event for a young Hispanic woman and is an opportunity for her family and close friends to show how much they love her as they welcome her into adulthood.

The Latest Tacky Idea: Host Your Own Shower

2009-08-06T14:08:00.006-06:00

I just read an article about a couple in Tennessee who hosted their own bridal shower. In the invitations the couple included a "wish list" of gifts, the first of which was money. The party was a co-ed potluck, so guests were expected to bring both food and a gift of the couple's choosing. I wonder if guests were also told what dish to bring?

If the couple wanted to have a party, that is great, but to turn it into a host-your-own shower is not only rude, but greedy as well. Surely someone in their circle of friends and family would have been happy to host a shower if given the opportunity. Or, oh no! (gasp), they could have not had a shower at all and it would have been okay.

What's next - a host-your-own baby shower, asking guests to provide everything from bibs to the crib? Let's hope this tacky idea dies a quick death.

Wedding Etiquette for Men

2009-07-29T19:05:00.005-06:00

Gentlemen, does it seem as if all your friends are getting married? Are you receiving a wedding invitation nearly every week? Joe is getting married on the beach; Susie is having a formal wedding in a cathedral. What are you expected to do when you attend these weddings? How should you dress? What should you not do?

These questions and more have been answered in an article, How to Behave at Weddings, published by AskMen.com and found at http://www.askmen.com/money/how_to_150/195_how_to.html The article provides recommendations for responding to a wedding invitation, choosing a gift, and goes into ceremony and reception etiquette. The author does a good job of covering the issues with one exception. He states that gifts be chosen as follows:

"The rule of thumb is to give the equivalent of the cost of your meal, so if you're attending as a couple, double the amount."

That information is inaccurate. Gifts are chosen on the basis of your budget and how well you know the bride or groom. You would give your cousin or close friend a more expensive gift than you would give a casual work acquaintance. To try to guess the cost of the meal is tacky and assumes that you will not take the time to choose a gift in advance, but will stuff bills into an envelope after dinner. To try to find out in advance how much the meal will cost is the height of rudeness and is just plain nosy.

That said, the article is worth a read by both men and women, who will also gain ideas from it.

The Dos and Don'ts of Making a Toast

2009-07-15T18:41:00.011-06:00

You have been asked to give a toast, perhaps at a wedding reception, anniversary party, rehearsal dinner, or another event. If the idea of speaking in public makes you very uncomfortable, feel free to decline. You don't need to ruin your day by stressing over what to say or how to say it. If you agree to give a toast, the following tips will be helpful in creating a meaningful one.

*Be certain that all guests have a drink of some type with which to toast. The DJ or person making announcements can ask guests to fill their glasses a few minutes before toasts begin. It is not necessary to toast with champagne or alcohol; any beverage will do. It is the thought that counts, not the contents of your glass.

*Keep it short, but sincere. Plan to speak no more than 5 minutes. You don't need to recount the entire hsitory of your relationship with the guest of honor. Don't mention that you are nervous or you hate to speak in public, or didn't really want to give the toast. To do so will embarass the person who asked you.

*Stand near the guest/guests of honor to deliver the toast. That way, guests can focus on only one place rather than having to look back and forth from you to the guest of honor. Photographers can also capture their shots easier. When you finish speaking, clink your glass against the guest of honor's glass.

*Begin the toast with something personal, such as how you know the guest/guests of honor. If you are making a toast to a couple, don't focus your comments on only one person. Instead, include both of them, even if you don't know one person well.

*Speak naturally; don't try to use an accent or wild hand gestures. You will only confuse the guests. Speak clearly and not too fast. Make eye contact with the guest/guests of honor and with guests seated nearby.

*Use humor tastefully. Everyone enjoys a funny story, but keep it clean and don't embarass anyone. It is easy to get carried away and offend someone.

*Don't use profanity or tell off-color stories or jokes. Don't say anything you wouldn't want your grandmother to hear.

*Don't mention previous marriages, past relationships, old girl friends or boy friends of the guests of honor. Don't make comments such as, "I'm sure their marriage will last," or "No one thought their marriage would last." Such comments can hurt deeply.

*Don't drink too much before giving your toast. Too much alcohol will make you more nervous, not calm your nerves, and cause you to say things you might later regret.

*Practice your toast before you give it. Trying to wing it at the last minute only works if you are an accomplished speaker.

By implementing these tips, you can feel confident when you are called upon to make a toast to your friends or family and they will be encouraged, not embarassed, by your words.

New Rental Resource for Outdoor Concerts and Back Country Events

2009-07-03T15:45:00.009-06:00

If you are planning an outdoor concert or festival, a back country family reunion or wedding, you may need generators, lights, tents for sleeping, sound equipment and other items. Evergreen Resource, located in Idaho City, Idaho, can provide those items and more. The company also offers shuttle bus service and IT and internet support for large events. They will also help with publicity for your event, if needed. If you need items the company does not provide, such as tables, chairs, party tents, and linens, they can help you find vendors. The company also networks with caterers and other vendors whose services you might need.

Check the company's web site at http://www.evergreenresource.com/ or give them a call toll-free at 866-270-1749.

Wedding Cake Woes

2009-06-30T17:55:00.007-06:00

It is tradition to serve cake or another special dessert at weddings, anniversary parties, birthday parties, and similar events. The cake or special dessert appears in numerous photos, both by itself and when the bride and groom or guest of honor cuts it. Therefore, it is important to carefully choose an experienced baker to make your special dessert.

Unfortunately, that didn't happen at a wedding last week. The bride allowed a friend's mother to make her cake. Apparently, the mother makes nice sheet cakes and figural cakes, but a multi-tiered wedding cake was another issue. The cake was delivered in separate layers, which is usual. When it was assembled, it was immediately obvious there was a problem. The cake looked like the Leaning Tower of Pisa and was in imminent danger of totally collapsing. The icing was beginning to melt and bare places could be seen. It had to be disassembled, then placed in a refrigerator until time to be served.

Refrigeration helped a little. When it was time to serve the cake, it was reassembled and decorated with flowers, which helped hide some, but not all, the problems. The bride had not seen the cake when it arrived so it was a bit of a shock to see it and to have her guests staring at it while she and the groom cut it. The baker was embarrassed and upset and she ended up refunding half the cost of the cake.

Situations like this can be prevented. Before allowing someone to bake your cake or other dessert, ask them about their experience. Though the person may think she/he can bake a beautiful cake or dessert, she may not understand everything at stake if she isn't able to perform as promised.

Ask to see photos of the baker's work and be sure to look at photos of cakes that are similar in shape to what you want. Ask to sample the cake, filling, and icing, the pie, cheesecake, or other dessert. Cake should be moist; the filling thick enough to provide a flavor contrast. If your cake will be placed outdoors, find out if the baker knows how to prepare the icing so it won't melt on a warm day. It is easy to do, but not all bakers know the tricks of the trade, particularly non-professionals.

If your reception or party will be outdoors, sun, wind and insects may be problems. No dessert should be placed in the sun. If shade is an issue, you may need to rent or borrow a small canopy to place over the dessert. A cake containing pillars between the layers is more apt to topple in the slightest breeze than a stacked cake. A large cake will also be more difficult to handle than a smaller cake supplemented by sheet cakes. Pie, on the other hand, holds up fairly well in outdoor conditions (except cream pies); many other desserts do not, however, and shouldn't be placed outdoors at all.

With attention to detail and by asking the right questions, you can prevent the situation that occurred last week. Though well-meaning friends or family members may want to "help" you, feel free to decline if there is any possibility that they lack the experience to create a beautiful and professional looking dessert.

Plan your Business Retreat in the Mountains of Idaho

2009-06-23T16:50:00.007-06:00

This week a group of business owners from Arizona are enjoying a challenging and rigorous team-building retreat in the mountains near Garden Valley. Each year the group goes to a different state to experience team building combined with different outdoor activities. Last year it was Hawaii.

We have worked on this retreat for the last 11 months to create a unique and totally "Idaho" experience. Today the goup is enjoying the zip line at Horseshoe Bend. Tomorrow they will go whitewater rafting on the north fork of the Payette River. In addition to paddling, they will have to portage their rafts in some areas. After they return to the starting point thoroughly exhausted, the rafting company will host a riverside barbeque.

The highlight activity occurs the day after tomorrow when the group, divided into teams and equipped with GPS instruments and riding ATVs, will have to find five geocaches hidden in the forest surrounding Garden Valley. Lunch will be the third geocache. The first team to arrive will find a gourmet meal served at linen-covered tables complete with china and crystal. The losing team will "enjoy" peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and Twinkies on a blanket outside the place where the winners eat - close enough to hear what they are missing. That evening the group will attend the Starlight Mountain Theater, where the losing team at lunch will have to wear pig hats.

Spouses will join the group on Friday for a relaxed weekend of golf, swimming, and less strenuous activities.

This has been an interesting and challenging event to plan. I can't say enough good things about the merchants in Garden Valley who have rallied to the idea and who have contributed their expertise to make it happen, particularly Tammy and Brad with Idaho X-treme Sports, Ben and Dennis at Bear Valley River Company, and Eric with Zipidaho.

Unique Cards and Gifts for Your Wedding Party, Family and Friends

2009-06-06T12:18:00.008-06:00

I received a unique card from a bride thanking me for being her wedding planner. The card was personalized and drawn with cartoon-style characters. The bride ordered it from http://www.greetingcarduniverse.com/. This site contains a wealth of specialized cards for many different occasions, including a variety of styles designed for inviting friends to be a bridesmaid, maid of honor, groomsman, flower girl; even a card to ask someone to walk you down the aisle. In addition to the wedding coordinator, there are thank you cards for the DJ, photographer, and other vendors.

In addition to weddings, special cards are available for business events, birthdays, graduations, announcing a pregnancy, and much more. Best of all, the prices are very reasonable, in most cases less than the cost of a generic card from a store. The site employs artists from around the world to design cards to the purchaser's specifications.

Another unique item I recently discovered is a book for your flower girl. Appropriately called "Flower Girl," it is a spiral-bound journal that allows the flower girl (or her mother) to capture information about how she was asked, the dress she wore, and more. There are poems and short stories and spaces for photos. An older flower girl will love this gift, as will her mother and any other woman who sees it. The book is published by Cool Springs Press. It is available on Amazon.com and through some bridal shops.

A Fun and Unique Wedding

2009-06-01T13:28:00.006-06:00

Saturday I coordinated a wedding for a radiologist from San Francisco. I met her 2 1/2 years ago when she was a bridesmaid in a friend's wedding. I didn't see her again until the rehearsal the day before the wedding. The bride's mother and I planned the wedding with in-put from the bride via phone and e-mail. The groom is finishing a post-doctoral program in astrophysics on the east coast, so they will have a bi-coastal marriage for awhile.

The bride's tastes are traditional except for her gown. She wanted something she can wear again, so she chose a black Vera Wang retro-style cocktail dress. The wedding was held at her parent's home with guests standing for the brief ceremony. The couple had no attendants.

The reception was cocktail-party style with heavy hors d'oeuvres provided by the Basque Market, which were wonderful. The flowers, from Boise at its Best, were beautiful. The bride carried a bouquet of white hydrangeas and all other flowers were white as well. Bouquets filled the home.

The rehearsal dinner the night before was a BBQ held at a local park with catering from a local BBQ caterer. Again, the food was excellent.

The bride and groom are now enjoying a brief honeymoon at a nearby resort before heading back to their busy lives.

Ethics in Business

2009-05-28T12:06:00.006-06:00

Yesterday I was "attacked" in an on-line forum when I questioned a post by someone who suggested doing something that may violate consumer protection laws and certainly violates basic business ethics. The person, who posted the comment in a business-to-business forum, suggested doing something that would benefit the businesses, but result in increased costs being passed on to the customer without the customer's knowledge. Consumer protection laws require disclosure of all costs; there are to be no hidden fees, and customers are to receive value for their money. The person's suggestion also violates the Better Business Bureau's standards of conduct.

When I mentioned the ethics of the person's suggestion and reminded him of the law, he said the law was stupid and people should just look the other way. To me, that seems to be a naive and self-serving attitude. If we are in business to fleece the customer, we won't be in business long. I was disappointed to see the person's attitude and to know that he thought it was a "standard business practice."

If we want to succeed in business, we need to think about the customer and how our actions affect them, both their pocketbook and their perception of our business. Those who develop a reputation for questionable business practices won't be in business long.

Brides Against Breast Cancer

2009-05-14T16:43:00.005-06:00

Brides Against Breast Cancer is a unique organization dedicated to granting wishes for women suffering from late stage breast cancer. The wishes are funded through the sale of new and gently used wedding gowns. Wedding gown designers, manufacturers, and bridal shops donate their excess stock to the program and individuals can donate their gowns after their wedding.

The gowns are sold at special sales held all over the U.S. in cities such as Cleveland, Seattle, Atlanta, Indianapolis, Boston, Ft. Lauderdale, Washington DC and other locations. Most gowns sell for $99 to $799 and may originally have cost as much as $8,000 or more. This is the 32nd year for the sales. Pre-registration is required to attend a sale and attendance is limited. To register, visit http://bridesagainstbreastcancer.org/

Through the years, the program has received over 50,000 gowns with a value of more than $4 million. Currently, the program is in need of donations of newer gowns (2000 or more recent), slips, and veils. If you would like to donate your gown, or to obtain more information about this unique program, check the web site mentioned above. Your donation can help make someone's last wish come true.

Helping Students Succeed

2009-05-08T11:14:00.004-06:00

Today I had the opportunity to speak to a high school class about event planning as a career. Last week I met with a student from another high school who is interested in becoming an event planner. Through the years I have had the opportunity to mentor both college and high school students. Some are writing papers for management or communication classes. Others want to job shadow for a day or two.

One high school student did her senior project on event planning. We worked together for a semester, during which time she attended meetings with merchants, attended a wedding rehearsal, helped decorate for the wedding, and various other things. Then, as her final project, she planned her mother's wedding. I had the opportunity to attend her project presentation and see what she had learned.

Sharing with students, youth groups, 4-H groups and other organizations is one way to give back to the community and help students as they explore all the options available to them for a future career.

Hiring and Working With a DJ

2009-04-21T21:41:00.009-06:00

This evening another event planner and I were invited to speak to a recently formed association of local DJs who are trying to improve the image of their industry. There is a trend with the current economy to not hire a DJ. In some cases it is a cost issue. In others, it is because of a bad experience with a DJ in the past. The group wanted to know what clients look for when interviewing and hiring a DJ. The following thoughts came out of the discussion.

Clients want to know that their DJ and other professionals working at their event will provide the best possible experience; they want to know that the DJ is there to serve them and help make them and their event successful.

Clients want to meet their DJ in advance; they don’t like having a stranger show up at their event. They want someone they know and with whom they can share any special issues related to their family or another situation. They don’t want to be blindsided by insensitive, and possibly embarrassing, actions, even if it’s unintentional. This is particularly important when dealing with divorced families and cultural and religious issues.

The DJ should arrive on time and be set up before the event begins. He/she should be dressed appropriately, both for the formality of the event and the event location. He/she should have all the equipment they need, including microphones and lapel mic, if needed. If a table is used, bring a tablecloth.

Equipment should be up-to-date and in good repair. Employees should be adequately trained in its use.

Music should not contain questionable lyrics or in any way be offensive to guests of any age. The DJ should find out in advance what the client considers acceptable and what they don’t want played, then don’t accept requests for anything not pre-approved by the client. That might include such things as not playing the chicken dance or the macarana.

Don’t try to be the center of attention; that is the responsibility of the bride and groom or the hosts of the event, not the DJ. Don’t talk too much; you are not a radio personality.

Be a team player with the event coordinator, photographer, facility manager and any other person working the event. Don’t make changes to a written agenda provided by the clients or event planner without permission. You don’t know what situations or family dynamics may be involved and who you may offend. Be sure you read any written information given to you.

Don’t try to force the clients into your mold; if they don’t like to dance or it is not appropriate in their religion or culture, be sensitive. If they have other issues, respect them.

Don’t drink on the job. You are there to work, not socialize, and the clients expect you to be at your best.

Don’t engage in group participation activities or games without prior approval from the hosts. They are not appropriate for every group.

Don’t nickel and dime the client. Upcharging for every item doesn't go over well. Instead, if you must charge for something, include it in your fee; don't bill it separately. If something happens and you need to play for an extra 10 or 15 minutes (the limo doesn't arrive on time, etc.), don't make a production about it in front of the client.

Wedding Trends for 2009

2009-04-15T14:23:00.008-06:00

I read an article that stated that the number of weddings held in 2009 will hold steady at about 2.2 million nationwide. However, as we have all observed, the economy is changing the way we plan events. The article suggested that the following are current trends nationally:

Smaller weddings with fewer guests
Destination or destination-type weddings closer to home
Accent colors on dresses and cakes with the most popular being greens and blues
Increased reliance on family and friends to help plan, pay, and provide some of the services
Increased use of green "eco-friendly" products and services
Simplified decorations, centerpieces and wedding invitations
Increased use of online RSVP's vs. traditional mail-in RSVPs
Off-peak weddings; mornings, afternoons, Fridays, Sundays; October becomes the new June
Buffet meals, hors d'oeuvre, and cocktail receptions
Cheesecakes, cupcakes and miniature cakes instead of a traditional wedding cake

Though these may be national trends, some of them have been the "norm" in southern Idaho for years. We regularly have local "destination" weddings to such places as McCall and Stanley. Because of the number of events held in this area and the lack of facilities, Friday and Sunday are both typical "wedding days," and have been for several years. Buffet meals are also the norm in this area.

We are definitely seeing a trend toward shorter receptions with less food and little or no alcohol. Another trend in this area is not hiring a DJ. Instead, couples are downloading music to an iPod or a laptop. Often, they forego dancing, other than perhaps the first dances.

We are seeing the trend toward smaller weddings, afternoon weddings, and more of a cocktail-style reception. We are also seeing a return to receptions held at a church.

Fortunately, people are continuing to hire event planners, with the expectation that we can help them make the best decisions for their reduced budgets. One good thing to come out of the economic downturn is that people are no longer feeling the pressure to do what their friends did at their wedding. Instead, they are focusing on what they really want and can afford to do.

Praise for Good Customer Service

2009-03-26T06:41:00.006-06:00

After my last couple of posts about the lack of customer service, including from caterers, it was refreshing to spend time with Mike, the owner of TableRock Grill. I have clients in town from California for spring break who have chosen TableRock to provide the catering for their August wedding. A couple of months ago I gave the bride a list of caterers' web sites. After looking at menus, she e-mailed 5 caterers to set up appointments. Mike was the only one to respond. In talking with him, he said the others are surely not too busy to need the business. His business is down and he is sure theirs is too.

We met yesterday so the couple could meet Mike and share their ideas. I was impressed with Mike's desire to serve them and help them have a successful wedding. He is bringing 5 people; they will handle rental of tables, chairs, and linens and they will set things up and take them down rather than leaving after a couple of hours, as many caterers do. They will cut the wedding cake for free and even provide the plates and forks for it at no extra charge. This is not an expensive wedding and Mike is not making a huge amount of money on it, but that has not been an issue. Plus, the wedding is at a winery in Canyon County and that involves an hour-long drive.

It is wonderful to know that quality customer service still exists and that some businesses "get it," that in this economy service is a key selling point. Kudos to Mike and his staff.

More Customer Service Rants

2009-03-22T17:05:00.004-06:00

It seems the economy has had a negative impact, not just on the bottom line, but on customer service as well. Businesses are shortsightedly trying to save dimes at the expense of dollars, as experienced this past week. My last rant was about caterers; this one is about hotels.

I managed a two-day conference for nearly 200 attendees held at a local hotel. The problems began before the event with the front desk employees, some of whom were apparently not trained in how to make a reservation. When attendees called to reserve a room, some employees transferred the calls to a toll-free number at a national call center rather than handling them locally. The call center had no information about our conference, the special rate we were receiving, or those individuals we were paying for (about 20), so they charged credit cards. Just try to get the charge reversed. That was like pulling teeth. One person called several times and insisted to the desk clerks that they make his reservation locally. Finally he found someone who knew how to do it.

Additional problems occurred when attendees arrived at the airport to find no hotel shuttle. When they called the hotel, they were told that shuttle service has been discontinued at certain times of the day, including from 5 p.m. to 8 p.m. They were given the option of hanging around the airport until 8 p.m. or calling a taxi. Surely the hotel knows that most business travelers arrive in the early evening. Neither I nor the conference hosts were told about the shuttle issue. If we had known, we would have personally met people at the airport.

When I strongly complained to the desk clerk, she said the sales manager we were working with should have told us that we would need to provide our own airport shuttle service. The sales manager said he was not told that shuttle service had been cancelled. (Someone passing the buck?) He agreed to reimburse taxi fare for anyone who paid it. The fare was $24 per taxi. Surely the hotel doesn't pay their shuttle driver more than $8 to maybe $10 per hour. Reimbursing just two taxi fares cost more than paying a driver for three hours. Shortsighted thinking, if you ask me.

Another issue was that the hotel resold meeting rooms that they had sold to us, creating a mess in the mornings when we had to redirect people to different locations and change out the audio visual equipment. Our program booklets were printed several weeks in advance, so there was no opportunity to change the room designations. The sales manager said they reserve the right to bump a group if they can sell the space. I pointed out that the rooms were already sold to us. Surely they could sell their empty rooms, not occupied ones.

As we prepare for next year's conference we will take these issues into consideration when choosing a hotel. Surely there are some that still believe in quality customer service. When the contract goes out to bid, it will contain sections addressing these issues.

Fortunately, most conference attendees didn't see the problems, other than the room changes, and they had a very positive experience.

Wedding Planning Seminar and New Product

2009-03-13T22:38:00.006-06:00

Last weekend a local rental center held their second annual wedding planning seminar. They invited businesses that regularly rent from them to set up displays. They also invited two wedding decorators and me to speek on the various aspects of the wedding planning process. About 15 tablescapes were set up to showcase the rental center's linens, chairs, and centerpiece items.

Eleven caterers were present, 10 of whom offered food samples! Two cake bakers and a chocolate fountain were also present. It was a great opportunity to network with the participating vendors and to meet a couple of new caterers. One caterer was offering a new product, wedding cake truffles, which were delicious. The one I tried was carrot cake covered in chocolate.

The attendance was small, but those who did attend had the opportunity to visit with vendors in an unhurried manner, to get some great decorating ideas, and to narrow their choice of caterers.